Crushed.

Was quite a bad day yesterday..

A SMS of concern to a member who wasn't doing well was perceived as a threat. I was being blasted by his uncle VERY badly. I wasn't even given a chance to speak up for "we have to be submissive to elders." Well I do not deny the fact that he's a lil' flaky... But sighs.. What have I done?

I took what he said a lil' too seriously. I thought hard, am I really not fit to be a leader like what he said? Not only about what he said, on the other hand I was still very concern over my member cuz I wasn't given a chance to even speak to him AT ALL. I don't even know what happened to him. Later on I got a lil' disappointed by him for doing what he did..

I was so crushed, my tap just kept running and running. I can't even attend prayer mtg in peace. Was so tied down by that whole incident that I just stepped out, went to the toilet and cried my hearts out..

Then God reminded me of this verse:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

This was a verse that He used to encourage me when I was sec 2, when things are simply not going in the way I expected it to be. And in the same way, God comforted me with this verse yesterday :).

Well, I took the verse and tried to remind myself abt His goodness. But the words of my member's uncle kept "haunting" me, and I simply can't help but to keep crying. Then God moved in the way of people :).

He sent my beloved boys who came and were showed so much concern :). Tim put his hands around my shoulders and told me its okay. Then JY tapped on his shoulders, offering it for me to cry on. And Dennis went, "Who bully you? *cracks knuckles* I'm gonna scold them for you!". I felt so loved to know that my boys cared for me so much :). Yvonne also gave me a hug and encouraged me, saying, "If they reject your church, they'll reject you. Stay strong." Even Johnson asked how was I. Really felt nice to know people are concerned :).

During worship, the words came back again somehow, and I can't help but to cry again (my tap is loose man -_-). Then God spoke, "this is how it's gonna be. Are you up for the call?" It was so painful. But I told God, "I'll do it as long as u're with me and as long as this is your calling for me." Then I felt the peace of God, and the rest of the day was simply pleasant and fun :).

Ahh, God is good isn't it? :). I just love God.

I just pray right now that my member is okay. Heard from his bro that he's home and asleep. Aye. Pray, pray..

I told my sister about what happened this morning, my sis was like, "he can use his uncle, tell him, you can use your sister!" and my sister was like scolding the whole morning, feeling injustice for me. Hahaha. Super cute. But anw I told her I'll handle it myself. Just thank God for her concern. :)

Really thankful that I've got so many people around me who're concerned over my well-being. Cuz of my job and my role in church, I'm always the one who's bothered over the lives of people. Suddenly this surge of people being so concerned abt ME, a bit not used to it :D. But I'm enjoying every bit of it, and I really thank God for it man :).

Of cuz, through this incidence, I also learnt to mind my words. I mean although after telling a few people and they felt that I didn't mean any threat, but I feel that as long as one person perceive it this way, it probably meant that I have to rephrase my words in future. As to how, I don't know. God's wisdom and knowledge! :)

GOD IS GOOD!!! :) :)