Fatigue.

I think human beings are hard to please.

When we're working, we wished we are students.

When we're students, we wished we are working.

Now that I'm a student AND working (attachment), I wished that I'm doing neither. HAHA.

Aiyoo so tired! I think I've lost the working pace after 3 months of sedentary full-time schooling Well its not really sedentary but at least we sit in classroom, snack and use brain power, nothing physical.

Previously I was able to do a proper, hectic morning shift, STANDING (can't quite sit!), and without the need to even go for my break. Yet after work I can go swim with bf, makan with colleagues or go shopping with Ms Ang. Now, after 2 consecutive morning shifts, with full 1hr break (can go hawker centre with lecturer makan somemore) I went home with a headache and sheer fatigue. My plan to go for a short jog was screwed by my sore feet.

I'm DECONDITIONING. Functional decline secondary to SCHOOL! Goodness. I need rehabilitation!

Blogging again.. :S

Oops, its been officially 3 months since I last blogged!

To think blogging used to my "life", and now I can go ahead without blogging for 3 months. Life has changed eh?

Blogging was something so essential in my life in the past. I can blog like 3 posts everyday about all the rubbish I do (and I wonder if people even read them but who cares! Those were awesome memories :)). Not forgetting all the "teenage lingos" I used to add in my blog like lahz, lorz, hahaz, ..., worxxx, etc etc. Those were the days! I can just retrieve any entry I want and have a good read, reminiscing about all the fun moments in the past :).

I guess what made blogging such an important part of my teenage life (I blogged since sec 2!) was that when I was down and I simply just want to shy away from people, yet I wished someone can know about how I feel, I can always blog. The blog is there, it doesn't reply, it just lets you type all the ventilations you want. Yet, people can read and reply all their views, encouragements and the like in your "taggy". It's encouraging, and sometimes it allows me to see things from another perspective that I've never seen before. Just by blogging, I made friends with people around the world!

Well, back then when things weren't that complex, you can blog about all your views and anything under the sun with no reservations. But things just aren't the same. You may notice that you probably can't find any of those posts that has the "teenage lingos" I mentioned, cuz this is a new blog that was set up 2 yrs ago due to some issues that arised because of some ventilations I made in my previous blog. I still felt rather angry about it because there was nothing confidential being disclosed, neither did I "tarnish the image" of my profession (as complained). All I did was to ventilate my emotions during the very painful period of probation at work. And because of that, I almost had to face disciplinary actions by my supervisor, but thankfully she was understanding and did not do anything more than just "gentle interrogation". Hence, I had to password block my 1000+-entry blog.

This incident has destroyed my passion for blogging completely, because I have to blog with alot more caution, for fear the same things may happen again. Sometimes I don't even know how to ventilate anymore. Its just lousy. I just blog in my password protected old blog occasionally, but there's no joy in it. Slowly I just shy away from blogging.

But now, I hope I can make a comeback in blogging again! :). I shall dedicate a little more time to blog about my life, my thoughts and anything interesting that I encounter :).

Well well, the bottomline after all these rubbish, blog with caution. I've now come with a new identity, and unless you're my friend, u probably won't know what I work as, what's my real name, blah blah. Of cuz, I may have to change the way I blog alot, but I guess that's but the only thing I can do for now, in order to still enjoy blogging :).

I shall update this blog more often with my random musings :). Stay tuned! :)

See? I'm so long-winded, how can I not blog! I'm wasting my talents! HAHA :D

ASSignments >_<

I seriously think the person who coined the term, "assignment" must have been a pain in the ASS :(.

HE SHOULD BE STONED!

Okay, maybe not stoned. I'm just being a lil' hot now.

Oh man, I don't understand how everyone seem to be able to produce 2000-5000words long assignments, JUST LIKE THAT?! And here I am, trying to ingest those articles into my puny, demented (tt's why puny! Shrunken!) brain yet nothing seem to be really going in.

And, to my horror, I realised that this doc (doctorate) previously from my sch whom I went Japan with previously, has produced SOO MANY research articles, and a THESIS. Oh man. How can anyone write thesis?? That's.. insane.

I wish I have doraemon now! :'(

Reflect and refrain

Its been a long time since I last posted any entry on this blog. And it has to be after a rather mind-boggling conversation and read.

In my thinking mode again.

Isn't it funny how human works? When things happen, its so fast to say, "that person is a bitch/bastard! its all his/her fault!", pointing fingers, passing nasty and totally unnecessary remarks and etc.

What about YOURself?

Well, I always think that in relationships, communications and anything that involves human, everything is a 2-way traffic. Things didn't happen because that acclaimed "bastard/bitch" made it happen SOLELY. Hey, what about YOU? Reflections, anyone?

Has anyone really stopped to think about whether you yourself, are the cause of adverse things that happen in life? Broken relationships, I should think, make up the most statistics. Its when there's a heartbreak that we see things like the above (nasty remarks) being passed everywhere, tarnishing the involved party's reputation.

I guess reflections is not a habit for many.

Even for myself, I find it so easy and so quick to pass judgments and point fingers when things go wrong. Yes, I do have the habit to do reflections, but I reflect only at the end of the day, or at the end of the whole situation. By then, it seem a little too late to have reflected, for we have already passed nasty judgments and pointed our filthy fingers at people. The damage is done.

I think we should all cultivate a habit of reflect and refrain. Reflect on what exactly happen and get a clear, objective picture, so as to Refrain from passing unnecessary remarks and pushing responsibilities on other people completely. We should all bear in mind that when things happen, WE are the cause of it too.

Just a food for thought, after a long talk with a friend and reading an involved friend's entries. Just find it a little upsetting to see things becoming so ugly!

PS: Sorry ar, as u can see, this entry is posted a little late, so I can't fully describe how I feel. Just pardon my lousy english cuz I'm really sleepy now!

Been and back :)

I certainly enjoyed Hong Kong!!!!! WHEEE! :).

Many first times during this trip:

1. First time travelling with Jetstar.
2. First time to Hong Kong.
3. First time staying in such a tiny hostel, yet the service was great!
4. First time sitting a cable car up the mountain! Scenic :).
5. First time to Ocean Park! Whee :)!! Love it!
6. First time seeing a panda!! Cute!!! :)
7. First time seeing such a spectacular dolphin show!!
8. First time taking a ferry bigger than those to Pulau Ubin.
9. First time to Macau.
10. First time to a casino.
11. First time PLAYING in a casino. HAHA. Lost money with the jackpot machine T_T
12. First time seeing so many outlet stalls! Nice!
13. First time I don't feel guilty about my wallet when I buy mid to slightly up-market products cuz of the outlets! :)
14. First time eating from a fast food outlet with things like Lo Mai Kai. Awesome. Singapore should have it!
15. First time taking public transport outside Singapore.
16. First time taking a tram up the mountain.
17. First time standing on a tram down the mountain! Scary!!
18. First time I totally forgot about work! Hehe.
19. First time having my flight delayed..

Blah blah. Really enjoyable experience! I wanna go Hong Kong again! Fun moments always end with a snap of fingers. Just like that! :(. BUT, I still enjoyed my trip alot. Its even better with OH around. I just feel alot safer just knowing he's there. And of cuz, I didn't have to fret over those heavy shopping bags. Hehe. Love you dear :)!

Anw it was a little unpleasant at the end cuz the flight was delayed. We were supposed to return to Singapore at 1450hrs. BUT we only came back at 1625hrs (if I didn't remember wrongly). But the pilot was so humourous that I just ignore the unpleasant experience. Anw, the reason for our flight delay was an oven -_-. YES, an oven. Seems like the ground staff and the pilot were communicating to an oven instead of communicating to each other -_-. Messages weren't get across, and thus the plane cannot proceed. Its silly, but the way the pilot said it when we went on board was so funny. He sounded as exasperated as we are. Haha.

Aye, Monday gotta return to work! So fast! But after this enjoyable getaway and break (actually not really a break cuz we walked ALOT!! I think we probably exceed the target of 10000 steps/day just by SHOPPING alone!), I should be able to work properly, I hope!

Before I end, enjoy this finale of the dolphin performance. Filmed it down at the Ocean Park. Spectacular!

Will upload photos when I have the time! There're still photos in OH's camera that needs to be combined with mine. And my camera alone has 600+ shots :S. Sooo.. Yepps! Need time to filter them out before I can upload!

out of town

Cincin will be out of town till Saturday :). I'm still reach-able by my mobile! But please call for urgent, emergency matters only. Overseas call ain't cheap! Finally a nice getaway after bonus, its awesome ;).

Don't miss me too much! HAHA :D.

When time is up..

I'm really convinced now when the older folks say, "when your time is up, its up."

The other day I was on night duty. At 4+am I was still looking at uncle who was sitting up and smiling at me. 5+am when I went to attend to him, he was unresponsive. I thought I was dreaming and it was just one of those time whereby I'm knocking off soon and my eyes were playing tricks on me. When I shook and shook and he didn't respond and there was no spontaneous breathing, I know I've lost him.

As the family turned up, crying at the sudden loss of their loved one, I felt like crying myself. I was still recovering from shock myself. I explained to them what happened, and I felt my lips quivering. Like, what just happened?? Wasn't he still alive just now and looking at me?

Its when you're so helpless, u can't say, "its gonna be alright" cuz its not. He's dead.

After experiencing so many people leaving my life just like that, you really have to admit that sometimes some things are just meant to be. And if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Whatever you do will just be deemed futile. So just treasure everyone around you now, for you really won't know. The next moment you see them will be just during their funeral. Sighs.

Sorry for being so morbid and gloomy, but its really sad! Just need to let it out...