comparing...

Have you ever been compared with someone before?

From things like "aiyo your sister also can get A!" to "even a 3 year old can do better than you!", neither of them sound pleasant at all.

The thing about being compared makes us feel lousy. Yes, we tell those who come complaining/whining/confiding in us about problems like these to just "leave it, no point comparing", blah blah. But when you're the one being compared, you can't help but to feel that teeny weeny bit lousy (or maybe more than just teeny weeny in some individuals).

The competitive nature of human being causes this ego in us. With this ego (being conscious), we tend to feel just like what people has compared: u simply can't get things done better than _____ (fill in the blank). Well, I don't know, but that's how I will feel, and it causes me to have this inferiority complex, and ultimately, I simply want to withdraw and do nothing, since that _____ (fill in the blank with the same as above :D) will always do better than you. What's the point of doing anything more since you know that you'll always be compared, there'll always be this high benchmark that you can never quite get to achieve? With that inferiority complex being set (just like a delusion), I will just feel that whatever I do is just like building sandcastle in air, i.e. in VAIN.

I totally hate this kind of feeling.

Its really lousy, and now I'm feeling exactly like that. There's this benchmark that I feel I will never be able to achieve. The dreams of scoring good grades have gone down the drain. Thoughts like "can pass can already" are floating in my mind, telling me that hey, since you'll never be able to achieve anything more than that benchmark, what for work so hard?

NO MOTIVATION. ZERO.

Right now, its just getting more and more frustrating. I just wish everything can be over soon, and I don't have to feel like I'm dragging my feet/fingers to do things that I don't see any point in doing anymore. Aye!