CinCinnati in Singapore

又一个？

2010-07-09T00:40:00.002+08:00

又一位好友，男友向她求婚，甜滋滋地post在facebook上。。

看见身边的好友一一谈婚论嫁，让我有种怪怪的感觉。一方面为好友感到开心，令一方面却是有种酸溜溜的感觉，真不是滋味。。

有时问自己，＇到底几时才到我？＇，想了又想又问了问自己，＇我能胜任吗？＇这种矛盾的心态，连我都觉得难受。

算了吧，顺其自然。是我的，总会属于我。:)

祝好友婚姻美满，祝自己天天开心! ;)

Moral obligations

2010-04-22T21:36:00.004+08:00

maybe morality did come from morons?

Today, I attended a session by a social worker in a nursing home.

Well, she was sharing about the financial assistance that they offered, and she gave a case scenario for discussion.

An elderly lady has 2 daughters who both earn about 1k per month and both has a teenager child to take care of. Though its difficult to fork out anymore cash due to the fact that both earn very low income, daughter A has decided to try to come out with $200 per month because "she is my mother", whereas daughter B simply refuse to come out with anything. The social worker then asked, "should we help this resident then?"

So I proposed that we should see what are the reasons why daughter B refused to pay. It could be due to the fact that the mother hasn't treated her well in the past and tt's why she refused to have anything to do with her mother anymore.

I was "challenged" with "if everyone who has a sour past relationship with their parents will come to us and say because of that they don't want to pay, are we supposed to pay for everyone?"

Which, I don't deny. To cut the story short, later on she went on to say things like she will tell the daughter B that the nursing home is not related to the resident but they're helping. If she doesn't want to help as a daughter, just pay as a form of "moral obligation".

I felt like telling at her, "you obviously haven't been through tt's why you can say that", but I held back.

Well if I'm daughter B and u tell me things like "nursing home is not related but we still help" and "help as moral obligation", I will be damn offended. You've never been through the phase whereby you have to spend your scholarship to pay the bills at home when you're still young, and you have to grow up faster than your peers because you have to learn to read bills, pay for the household stuffs, work harder to pay for anything and everything, all because you have a good-for-nothing parent. Well after going through all these and more, you expect me to pay out of "moral obligation" and that even "a not related nursing home" can do more than the blood-related daughter, sorry, I can't do it. In fact, I will be even more angry and walk out altogether.

Ahh, I guess different people has got different perceptions and thus see things differently. But I believe people who never been through it will never understand how difficult it is and thus, may never empathise why people refuse to care for their parents anymore when they're old.

Some people has never let go of the hatred in their lives, and even till the deathbed of that particular parent, they may still never feel any regret. Well it could be because of all that they've been through, or simply because that "good-for-nothing" parent never changed for the better. Whatever it is, the resentment is there and after years of being let down, suddenly you have to take care of the needs of this parent again, its difficult.

Its so easy to judge a person as unfilial when they refuse to take care of the parent, send them to nursing home and don't pay for their care. But what lies behind the strong refusal to have anything to do with the parent, is something that we should always see first before being so quick to point fingers at others.

Back from Genting :)

2010-04-05T13:36:00.003+08:00

Back from Genting from a 3D2N trip :)!

The preamble for this trip was one that started with anticipation and excitment (cuz it's both OH and my first trip to Genting!) to one that was rather disappointing. As I was doing my homework about the trip, reviews online about Genting was pretty unpleasant. The reviews for the hotel that I was staying in (First World Hotel) can only be described with one word: BAD. My excitment was all dampen as I read those review just a few days prior to the trip.

But OH said, this is a getaway for us and we should just enjoy it! So we went ahead happily. It turned out better than I expected! So I will be giving a brief review of Genting :)

My 3D2N trip started on 1 Apr in Golden Mile Complex :D. Hahaha. The coach journey took abotu 6-8hrs. Board the bus at 11pm, arrived at Genting Highlands at abt 5+am on Friday.

Upon arrival, we walked around to recee the area first. As I've done some 'homework' already, we knew where we want to find. As we walked around with our luggages, it appeared cumbersome. Checked-in luggage at hotel and found that we can already get our queue number! I've read online that First World Hotel is the largest hotel in the world so far, and there're 5000+rooms! Needless to say, check in was hell. Luckily we got our queue number at 5+am, so we're number 152.. Otherwise can really die waiting! So my advice is, if you're going FWH, the moment you arrive at Genting Highlands, GET A QUEUE NUMBER IMMEDIATELY!

Headed to the casinos to take a look. We visited the 2 larger casinos in Genting: Monte Carlo and Hollywood (both in Highlands Hotel). Was reeeallly big! To gamble there, its recommended to sign up for a world card for free before gambling. You can cash in the card and play. Then if you don't want to play anymore, the credit will still be in the card, alot more convenient that using cash. Later on you can withdraw out the money from the Worldcard ATM in multiples of RM10. If you use just cash, to take out the money if you don't want to play is a hassle cuz the attendant must jot down ur passport number and u can only redeem it as certain counters with your passport.

Had breakfast at the casino (which we kind regretted cuz it was expensive and service was lousy, and they charge service charge -_-) then we headed to take the Genting Skyway(initially wanted to take the Awana skyway but it only operates during weekends.). I heard about the skyway but didn't know that the station was near the hotel! There are signages everywhere so don't have to worry about getting lost. The skyway cost RM10 (2 way) per pax. If you want to buy some tidbits or asam for your family, you can consider going to the shops at the skyway stations. There're really big shops selling sour plums etc, nuts and snacks at affordable prices :).

We were told by the reception in FWH that the queue starts at 12 but for our number, we should go back after 1. We kiasu and went back at 12+pm to retrieve our luggages. Firstly, we were shocked by the sea of people flooding in the lobby, for a moment I thought I was in the airport or something :S. Secondly, the queue number was like, 75 -_-. Anw to cut the story short, we got our room at abt 2pm (abt 1hr wait), which was better than I expected.

The room was... oookkkk. Very very basic considering we had a Deluxe room. If you're going FWH, pls note. Toothbrush is NOT provided, so rmb to bring! Bring along an air refreshner if possible. For us we were lucky as our level had very little smokers so our room didn't smell bad. One review I read, the lady's room reeked of cigarette smell cuz of some other people who smoked in their rooms, and the smoke traveled to their room via the ventilation.. But otherwise the room was ok la. Clean, at least. But i find it eerie, cuz our double bed has got 3 pillows and the mirror reflects the window and the TV reflects the doorway. It just feels spooky. But nothing happened to me so its just personal perception :D.

Took a short nap then headed to take a free shuttle bus from Highlands Hotel to Chin Swee Caves Temple. Quite a nice and serene place to visit. Shuttle services operates per hour, schedules is available outside the Hotel. Alternatively, you can take the Awana skyway to the temple during the weekends.

Returned to the hotel for dinner. We were too tired to go anywhere further so we had to have dinner at one of the restaurants in FWP. Prices are abt the same as Singapore's restaurants (think Xing Wang cafe, etc). Food is okay. The only flaw, no smoking policy in Genting is CRAP so I do suggest that you bring a mask if you're going lest you get suffocated by the people smoking INDOORS. Argh.

Day 2 we went for the theme park. With the worldcard, there's a 10% discount. So we paid RM53 for a all day park tix (indoor and outdoor park). There's a all-in-one tix at abt RM79 consisting of the theme parks + snow world + alot of things. It's tempting, but we figured out we won't be doing so many things in ONE day. Hahaha.

The outdoor theme park was alright. Rides were not exactly fantastic... Thrill rides are not exactly thrilling! Hahaha. But my advice is, go in the morning because the queue can be really bad in the afternoon! Recommended ride: cockscrew is probably the more thrilling one (though its just oookkk in my opinion). When I was there, space shot was under maintenance but reviews said that its good.. Otherwise you can pay additional RM10 + RM2 for flying coaster, now that's really fun! :D.

Indoor theme park in FWP has alot less rides. The more fun ones are the bumper car, euro express and 4D motion. Apart from that, the rest are all joy rides. But the indoor theme park opens till 1am during peak hours so u can play as long as you like :D.

Had lunch at Penang Food Village at Theme Park Hotel because of the reviews I read. The food is indeed slightly cheaper than the restaurants, but the food is only slightly above average. Service is not bad :).

Dinner was at a Vietnamese restaurant in FWP because of a RM10 voucher from the theme park tix. Food was not too bad but restaurant price. Indeed, you pay to get good food lo..

While playing in the indoor park, we went shopping in FWP. There're alot of local boutiques like Padini, Voir and etc, so can have quite a good shop :). There's another shop selling Malaysia local products in FWP, I think its level, the shop name is Heng Heng. Things are quite affordable also and fresh and tasty. There's a pushcart store selling wood craft items in level 2. Its on a buy 2 get 1 free promotion with free engraving! OH and I were won over by the girl's service and the really nice engraving done, bought alot of souvenirs back :D!

Wanted to try our luck at the casino again, so this time we headed for Starworld casino at FWH, which is the smallest casino of the lot in Genting. The moment we enter, aiyooo. The smoke from all those sickening smokers was really suffocating, especially in such a small area. We left Starworld eventually cuz it seem we cannot use the worldcard in starworld, and its so troublesome to get a temporary starworld card, so we left for Monte Carlo again. But again, the smoke was really bad that we stayed hardly for an hour then we left. The situation wasn't this bad in the morning, so my advice is, go casino in the morning! :S

Last day, we chance upon the Highway station canteen (highway steysen canteen) at resort hotel I think (just cross the road from theme park hotel). Food there is really cheap! One big plate of chee cheong fun + yong tau foo was only RM7 and you can be full from it! Very nice :). A pity we didn't eat there earlier! Beside the shop there's a convenience store (168) that opens 24hours, so if need anything urgently, can go there to buy :). Finally was last min shopping then had to run for the coach home :D.

Overall, quite a fulfilling trip, lucky for the homework done. Only pity is that we didn't get to find the Visitors' Galleria and heated swimming pool.. And of cuz, never really won big bucks :(. BUT well, did had fun and let go!

Okay, time to go back to mug liao, enough of reviews :).

Listen!

2010-03-31T18:35:00.004+08:00

A friend, M, told us some situation that is going on in her life currently as we were having lunch after a discussion.

She was in dire straits (a little exaggerated la) and had no idea what to do next. As she spoke of her problem, the bulk of us started telling her things..

"I think you should _______!"

"Ya, I really think you should do _______..."

"How about doing ______ since you find it difficult?"

"Otherwise you can ________ la."

"If I were you, I would ________."

"I tell you what, you go and ________."

"Yayaya! You should just do _____!"

I was part of the "culprits" performing the above act. But finally at one point I got tired of trying to speak so I sat to listen. As the list of "you should" went on, I felt frustrated.

Its like, voices are going on and on telling M what to do. Have anyone listened to how she feel?

I tried asking, "What are your plans then?". It was quiet for a moment as she spoke; indeed she was rather lost. Then the silence was broken as one person started the "I think you should.." again.

I went home reflecting on the whole conversation. Many a times we thought that since people come to us with a problem, its natural that I provide an advice or a perceived solution to the problem. Well, that's what I've always thought is the right thing to do. I always have got list and list of advices to provide, stories after stories of how others or myself handled a similar situation. When these doesn't work, find some other situation that's worse and tell your friend, "so its okay, things aren't that bad yet." I used to feel proud of my counselling skills, thinking I'm not too bad as a "counsellor" at such a young age!

However, I learnt that in counselling, active listening is very important. I believe that applies to when you talk to your friends too. And guess what's a taboo? Providing advices and suggestions (well I believe it's important but not at the initial stages, definitely not after a mere few sessions of sharing). Quite contrary to popular beliefs of since-she-come-to-me-for-advice-so-I-give-many-advices isn't it?

A friend of mine once told me, "sometimes when people share something with you, its not because they want an advice. You think you're the first person who told them this advice? U're probably the 100th person. They just need a listening ear. You don't have to say anything more. Just be there." That slapped me awake from believing I'm that great. Hahaha. But I will always remember this statement.

As I sat there to listen to everything, I really felt frustrated. In the same way, I believe M probably felt frustrated as well. Then I remembered what my friend said, and it's really true. Here I am, encountering a situation that I believe M probably just needed someone to hear her out and not jump into giving her what seemed to be the "best" advice.

Well, what's done has been done. I guess since M felt comfortable confiding in us, I do believe that she also felt thankful that we tried to provide some solutions to her current problem. But I guess, learning from this incident, I should always remember to take time to listen instead of jumping into providing suggestions that we deem the best.

Food for thought for the day!

2 weeks

2010-03-29T18:48:00.002+08:00

Well, its been exactly 2 weeks since I've last blogged, and honestly speaking, I don't have any topics in mind that I wanted to exclaim about.

Nowadays, I no longer blog about my daily musings (like I used to in the past) because I believe nobody actually reads them anyways :D. Well I used to be able to blog a 5000-word essay about one 3D2N camp in full details. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone have actually finished reading the entire chunk of crap, including myself :D. Hahaha. Anyways, as I was saying, I will try to find a topic of interest that I would like to talk about and people can comment on if they should read it.

I guess I've been stuck in a lifeless situation for the past 2 weeks, rushing assignments + tests + presentations that I did not find anything interesting to talk about. Hahaha :D. Now that I'm more freed up, I don't know what to talk about. Hmm.

Anyways, the main reason for this entry is to certify that I'm still alive, whether I have any topics to talk about or not. My pupils are still equal and reactive to light and accomodation. So my blog is not dead YET. But I'll be going on a trip to Genting for a short break from 1-4 April. Well, I've bought travel insurance so rest assured, I should be back to blog after the 4th. Hahaha ;).

1150pm

2010-03-15T23:50:00.002+08:00

Time check: 1150pm.
Reality check: ICA test at 9am.

Here I am, neither studying nor sleeping, but blogging with my hp while tapping into a neighbour's wifi. And i don't even knw who this person is, i only knw his/her wireless name is 'ken'. Thanks 'ken', for always letting me tap ur wireless! Hoho :D

An w yes, its 1150pm, in less than 12 hrs, i'm gonna sit for my ICA test. And i don't knw what i'm doing here. Study, nothing goes in. Sleep, i can't seem to sleep. This is really infuriating.

I hate the feeling of not being in control. I am fully aware that I'm totally not confident for tmr's paper despite the fact tt i've studied. Well, kind of studied. I know the points but i did not memorise. I don't like to sit for a paper that i know i'm not >65% confident. And tmr i am going to sit for a paper with <65% confidence level.

Sighs. I just hope i can make it through the 100mins paper tmr.

Time to sleep, or try to sleep, at least..

Toilet etiquette

2010-03-14T22:05:00.003+08:00

I think a signboard like this should be placed in all the LADIES.

Its really horrifying whenever I enter the ladies and I see toilet seats stained with pee. Worse that I've seen, the FLOOR also has pee. And we're talking about SEATED loo bowls over here.

We talk about men being bad at aiming. We tease at them to go for aiming classes. Google images on"men aiming toilet bowls", lots of search results will appear. But I totally cannot understand why is it that the LADIES' toilet bowl can be stained with urine all over when we don't have to pee standing, let alone aim!!

This is of utmost embarrassment as I talk about this, but aren't we all taught how to use the toilet bowl when we were being toilet trained as a toddler??!!

Girls! I think it is really a very bad behaviour to accept. Well, I understand from my fellow girlfriends that some of them don't actually really sit on the toilet bowl to pee. They do a half squat (马步) to pee because they cannot stand the thought of sitting on a public toilet bowl. For people like me with contours gone all over the place, with a big bottom I do find it difficult to do a half squat to pee (think: centre of gravity). I mean, no wonder some girls have really slim legs... BUT that's besides the point! :D

Anyways, my point is, I don't really bother about how other girls pee, but isn't it basic courtesy to clean up the toilet seat if you actually dirty it because you chose to half squat to pee? Well the toilet bowl is for you to sit on but you chose to half squat, and now you stain it. Its your own pee and you've just dirtied the public toilet, I should think its just socially responsible to clean up the toilet seat.

I feel truly annoyed whenever I see dirty toilet seats. Even more annoyed when I see footprints (but the incidence is much less nowadays. I see more pee than footprints). Its even worse when there's a puddle of pee on the floor. I really don't know how the girls did it.

I remember someone once told me, Japanese were taught since young, to clean up the toilet seat after each use (whether dirty or not) so that the next user can have a clean toilet to use. I find this culture amazing, but its really the reason why EVERY toilet that I went to in Japan is squeaking clean.

I don't forsee such culture to be practiced in Singapore because firstly, our girls can't even "aim" properly, and secondly, they don't even clean up their own mess. Wait till this can be done before we talk about cleaning toilet after each use to benefit the next user.

It is shameful to talk about this topic isn't it? But girls, can we do something about this? *shakes head* Its disturbing.

I think the men are laughing at this. They probably never thought that ladies need to aim to pee. Hurhur.

Looking back..

2010-03-06T00:02:00.004+08:00

Today was the last day of my first set of attachment (lasting 1 month in 2 different places). Knowing that today being the last day of the week + being on morning shift, I've done up a to-do-list 2 days ago.

However, today as I returned home, I felt so drained and I just went to bed after showering, in my jogging attire (as one of the to-do items was to jog) and slept till night -_-. I woke up, changed out and rested. Wanting to do my assignment I was too lazy and tired to do so. As I was sitting watching TV and feeling apathetic, I just looked back at the last 5 months of school.

Well, school started with a blast and lots of fun. For most of us, it was something that we looked forward to because we don't have to work!! But the reality turned out to be the complete opposite.. In the middle everyone started to experience the stress especially with the first assignment submission and the big project. For most of us, writing an assignment is something new. Doing a school-wide project is also even newer. Some dropped out due to personal reasons. The others clung on tight to the floating sampan that may sink anytime.

5 months later, we're still hanging on tight, albeit this time, upon building friendships, we have each other's support. Well in a group, we can't prevent murmurs, gossippings and the like. But somehow we still hang on to each other tightly with our brains exploding with lots theories, knowledge, assignments, etc etc. You sink, I sink!

As I think of it this way, I suddenly realised that it isn't THAT bad at all! I mean, I've met quite a bit of my objectives, learning so much from all the external lecturers who imparted their expert knowledge. The best part, this course had not only has improved our knowledge, but at the same time, streeetchhhed our capacity to the max thus far. I believe everyone felt stressed out, burnt out, indifferent and apathetic at times, exhausted (and VERY exhausted indeed) but still, we cling on tight to the final destination of achieving that certification. I believe, most importantly, everyone has grown.

Looking at it this way, it does feel alot better. And look, we've gone through 5 months of hardship! It's another 3 more months and it'll be gone like a breeze. Before we know it, it's time for sad goodbyes and forget-me-nots.

People, lets hang on tight and finish the race!! :)

Just a simple day :)

2010-02-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

It was a hot Sunday morning.

Was awaken by my sis because she was last min called up for a flight. I was awaken by her dinosaur footsteps and heavy knockings as she rushed to pack her luggage. Time check: 6am. My alarm was supposed to ring at 9.30am so that I can watch doraemon, have breakfast then meet OH to cook our fried rice for lunch :).

At abt 11am, just as I was preparing to leave house, OH called and said that his mom has organised a steamboat dinner and I was invited to go. The thought of being unable to do assignments earlier as planned made me angry at the last min change. I flared up, but OH was patient and apologised for not telling me yesterday when he got to know about it.

I went ahead to his place as planned. Cooked an okay-standard tomato fried rice. Played some computer game that made us rather tired. Then came the fun part.

We had a pillow fight! I haven't had such a good laugh in a long time :). I never knew pillow fights can be so hilarious :D. We laughed and played and had lots of fun. I guess we both were tired and busy over the week. It seem that a simple pillow fight have relieved much tension, stress and fatigue in us :).

We lied on bed and talked about alot of things. We explored our Johari window :). Napped and it was time for dinner. Simple steamboat dinner with OH and his family, felt homely, felt comfortable. Chatted about daily life, random musings and all. Cleaned up, had yu sheng and I had to go.

For some reason, I felt contented and happy today. Despite the fact that I have less time to complete my assignment, I still feel happy. I guess its just pure simplicity that made everything nice. I can't quite explain it. Its just.... nice. Very nice.

Sometimes we try very hard to plan something fancy and wow each other. But today, I learn that sometimes, spending time with my loved ones can be simple and yet, it is enough to make a day beautiful, pleasant and nice. :)

The straw that break the camel's back

2010-02-27T00:43:00.003+08:00

Yes, its probably the nth time this month that I'm writing about how drained I am, but I do need to ventilate. Sighs.

I think as a workaholic and a Type A personality person, I've grown accustomed to high levels of stress and in fact, am able to work better with stress sometimes. Well I do not deny the fact that my face becomes as black as charcoal and I'm irritable and fiesty when I'm undergoing tremendous stress, but I can cope ok with it.

BUT. I have no idea why, the constant high levels of stress have caused apathy in me. You know, a rubber band can be stretched, but there'll ultimately be a breaking point and there goes. I guess that's the same as the theory of the last straw that break the camel's back. Well, my back has long been broken. Now I'm in this apathetic (is there such a word?) state, lost all motivation and become increasingly frustrated and irritable. Just like a little camel who's broken his back, now he can't walk anymore and he's just feeling sorry for himself and lazing around.....

I started this course 4 months ago, along with my colleagues with high expectations. We dreamt big dreams about scoring good grades. We visualised ourselves working hard together, studying together and scoring good marks together. We bragged about how we will show our supervisors some results of our hard work so that they won't complain that they made wrong choice to send us for advancement.

But 4 months later, this excitement, this dream, this expectation, has all died down along with all the crap that came with the stress. Its not so much of the workload. Yes, its heavy workload, but I feel that its workload that is not applicable, not justifiable, not relevant, that's causing me to feel so frustrated. Well, like I've said, I can cope with stressful workloads (of cuz with a charcoal black face and hot temper), but not things that I cannot justify myself for doing it. The more work I do, the more I ask myself, 'what's the purpose of doing this? Is it gonna be applicable?" and many a times I find that I cannot find an answer to that.

With another 4 months to go, I just wonder how am I going to survive and pull through. With the level of motivation declining with the days and apathy rising by the minutes, I don't know how to last anymore. Its a lousy feeling. Whatever happened to all the high hopes, beautiful dreams and aspirations that came with the course? I don't want to go through the remaining 4 months with such a lousy attitude, because I know I will just produce crap after crap, getting angrier and angrier.

On a lighter note, its already midway into the course and just a little more and we'll be over and done with. As I'll always remember from my fellow colleague cum senior, A, who taught me how to survive the harshness of working life, there's always SOMETHING to learn, somewhere, somehow, even in the lousiest situation. I shall sit down over the weekend, with assignments piling beside me as my companion, and reflect on the learning lesson behind this.

Oh I've forgot. I have to go back to school for lesson in the morning later, on a nice Saturday morning. Aye..

NVM. Count my blessings. Be optimistic! *psycho psycho*

MONEY.

2010-02-25T23:04:00.003+08:00

Do you always feel that money come and go very fast?

Today is 25th. 25th = payday.

I should be feeling happy that its payday, but no.

After paying all the bills and whats nots + saving, I'm only left with peanuts amount of money to spend for the rest of the month.. Yes, I've learnt to set aside savings FIRST before I spend it because I know people like me spend money like there's no tomorrow, and if I save the remainders, chances are there'll probably be nothing left.

I'm constantly feeling broke, why? :(

I do save, but the figures in my savings account never seem to go up :(. I tried to be frugal, but I know that's not my lifestyle and I never liked it.. Does that mean that I can never enjoy saving money? So to save money means bitter life? So I have to always be eating bread and butter or porridge with soya sauce for my 3 meals, wear clothes that last me 10 years (because I cannot go shopping), decline any invitations to go out (because that will mean spending $$) and worse, say "no" to short trips to give myself a deserved break?

That's VERY sad! No life!

If that's the case, I rather die poorly but I've lived a happy and fulfilled life, rather than dying with lots of $$ but I've probably not seen anything else but myself, my bread and my pet dog. Oops, I should be frugal so I shouldn't be having a pet dog. Argh!

But but, I really don't like the feeling of not having enough $$ to spend every month. Sighs. OH says I never set my priorities right. I just wish my course will be over soon, then my pay will increase! Please please!

Educated elderly

2010-02-23T21:11:00.005+08:00

I was having lunch at TTSH kopitiam today and was having vegeterian bee hoon (cuz that's the only stall with no queue!). This elderly lady with her husband took a peek at my food and exclaimed aloud, "that's so healthy!"

I was gobbling my bee hoon halfway then I kinda realised she's talking about my bee hoon, so I just chuckled and told her that it's because there's no queue! Hahaha. Then we strike a conversation from my plate of bee hoon.

She asked where was I heading to, I told her I'm going to a ward in level 7 and she said, "Geriatric ward right? I know cuz we (pointing to husband) are also geriatric!" She giggled, then she went back to sharing her soya bean milk with her husband (super sweet! :D)

I was quite surprised by the term she used. Geriatrics. This is probably something that even a young layman now won't really know, let alone an elderly lady who lived in the era whereby education for girls was for the priviledged. Oh yes, she conversed with me in very good and fluent English throughout.

This is not the first time I'm seeing elderly like that.

I went to SAGE to visit once, and the one who addressed us and gave a talk was the CEO who is 72yrs old! He was so affluent and using powerpoint somemore! He gave a 3hr long lecture and he was still so robust and fit, walking around, very excited about his job. Hahaha. To me, its an eye opener.

My perception of elderly is still those who speak Hokkien/Cantonese/Mandarin/Malay, low literacy and does whatever you ask them to do. Nowadays this is not so. We've come to the age whereby elderly are getting more and more educated. They're able to converse in English fluently, perhaps even more fluent than us! There's even a council for third age for the elderly to persue higher education now!

I'm not too sure if its a good thing that elderly are becoming more educated. Well, I've seen educated and friendly elderly before, just like that one I've encountered today at TTSH. I've also seen elderly making a scene with some youngsters previously in a supermarket. The elderly man shouted at the young chap who was probably rude to him or something. He was like, "young man, you should learn to respect the elderly! You should be the one saying sorry!"

Yepps, still an educated old man, but check out the difference in attitude.

I think when people are a little more educated, they tend to get a little too high and mighty sometimes. Well, people think they know alot, they can get knowledge from internet anytime, anywhere. The pride may have brought about a nasty attitude in the elderly when they have this I'm-as-educated-as-you-but-I-eat-rice-more-than-you-eat-salt mentality..

I keep my reservations on the topic first. I shall let time show me more things before I pass a judgement on anything ya?

It just makes me wonder what kind of aging population we will be expecting in future? Its scary..

Time for work, time for play :)

2010-02-22T21:20:00.005+08:00

Today is back to work with Monday blues..

Went to a new place today for attachment. SOO much better than my previous area! Was positively culture shocked by all the technology used. But the staff there said its bad. Well, try working in my stone age area, maybe u will prefer technology. Hahaha. Pretty nice, I'm quite expectant of my next 2 weeks here :).

The only problem is my poor sense of direction, and it really sucks. The layout of the area is round, and I keep getting "lost". So silly. And the place is not even big! Everytime I emerge from somewhere, I don't know which part of the circle I'm at anymore -_-. I think I've asked M so many times where's the toilet, where's the tea room, where's my assigned area, where's the exit etc etc. Goodness. "Kudos" to my "splendid" sense of direction. Haha.

Oh well, work is tiring, dreading. But silly things like these makes me smile at work :).

After work, I come home staring at all those ASSes again, and I feel tired. I don't feel like doing 'em at all, yet I know I don't quite have a choice.. Sighs..

The only thing I'm looking forward to, is the short trip to Genting with OH on the good Friday long weekend :). Yipeee! Its my first time to Genting (yes, call me suaku!) and I anticipate alot of fun!! :):) I also anticipate getting lost. Hurhur. So I shall stick closely to OH with superglue.

I'm quite excited for it, and that seem to be the only thing I'm looking forward to thus far. Actually wanted to go Bangkok but the tix are sooo ex during that period! With flight and accomodations + taxes, one person, cheapest we found was $435/pax.. Totally not worth it. So we went for Genting instead, hope it'll be good :).

Mommy (actually is my primary school teacher who said mommy. My mom don't say this.) always says, "there's a time to work and there's a time to play." I'm looking forward to play and not work! >_<..

Okok I shall go back to work! :(

Tiring, tiring..

2010-02-19T23:43:00.005+08:00

I was actually typing an entry on chronic fatigue. In the midst of typing it, it just suddenly occur to me that I should see if i've already done a similar entry. True enough, just 2 entries ago, I wrote on "fatigue".

Are we really so tired? Hahaha.

I think Singaporeans (maybe other countries) share a common "language". We're constantly tired, very exhausted due to the fast pace of life and high levels of stress. I don't see anyone who's NOT tired in Singapore. For some reason, everyone seem to be constantly tired.

- From studying late night (or just studying alone is mentally draining!)

- From doing assignments

- From staring at undone assignments (sighs)

- From working late night (or simply working is tiring!)

- From having nothing to do at work

- From doing housework

- From a long day of fun outing with friends

- From walking too fast

- From eating too much

- From not eating enough (hungry)

- Weather too hot

- Weather too cold

- From shopping too hard

- From insufficient shopping

- From researching information on the internet

- From googling too much

- From youtubing late at night

- From facebooking late at night

- From blogging late at night (like yours truly)

- From insufficient sleep

- From too MUCH sleep (ironic!)

- ... ... ...

This list will never end. For SOME reason, we're always tired!

Ok now I am tired, so I shall go and sleep. But for some reason, I believe soon, I may be blogging about fatigue again. Hahaha :D

comparing...

2010-02-18T16:59:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been compared with someone before?

From things like "aiyo your sister also can get A!" to "even a 3 year old can do better than you!", neither of them sound pleasant at all.

The thing about being compared makes us feel lousy. Yes, we tell those who come complaining/whining/confiding in us about problems like these to just "leave it, no point comparing", blah blah. But when you're the one being compared, you can't help but to feel that teeny weeny bit lousy (or maybe more than just teeny weeny in some individuals).

The competitive nature of human being causes this ego in us. With this ego (being conscious), we tend to feel just like what people has compared: u simply can't get things done better than _____ (fill in the blank). Well, I don't know, but that's how I will feel, and it causes me to have this inferiority complex, and ultimately, I simply want to withdraw and do nothing, since that _____ (fill in the blank with the same as above :D) will always do better than you. What's the point of doing anything more since you know that you'll always be compared, there'll always be this high benchmark that you can never quite get to achieve? With that inferiority complex being set (just like a delusion), I will just feel that whatever I do is just like building sandcastle in air, i.e. in VAIN.

I totally hate this kind of feeling.

Its really lousy, and now I'm feeling exactly like that. There's this benchmark that I feel I will never be able to achieve. The dreams of scoring good grades have gone down the drain. Thoughts like "can pass can already" are floating in my mind, telling me that hey, since you'll never be able to achieve anything more than that benchmark, what for work so hard?

NO MOTIVATION. ZERO.

Right now, its just getting more and more frustrating. I just wish everything can be over soon, and I don't have to feel like I'm dragging my feet/fingers to do things that I don't see any point in doing anymore. Aye!

Fatigue.

2010-02-10T22:42:00.003+08:00

I think human beings are hard to please.

When we're working, we wished we are students.

When we're students, we wished we are working.

Now that I'm a student AND working (attachment), I wished that I'm doing neither. HAHA.

Aiyoo so tired! I think I've lost the working pace after 3 months of sedentary full-time schooling Well its not really sedentary but at least we sit in classroom, snack and use brain power, nothing physical.

Previously I was able to do a proper, hectic morning shift, STANDING (can't quite sit!), and without the need to even go for my break. Yet after work I can go swim with bf, makan with colleagues or go shopping with Ms Ang. Now, after 2 consecutive morning shifts, with full 1hr break (can go hawker centre with lecturer makan somemore) I went home with a headache and sheer fatigue. My plan to go for a short jog was screwed by my sore feet.

I'm DECONDITIONING. Functional decline secondary to SCHOOL! Goodness. I need rehabilitation!

Blogging again.. :S

2010-02-09T20:57:00.003+08:00

Oops, its been officially 3 months since I last blogged!

To think blogging used to my "life", and now I can go ahead without blogging for 3 months. Life has changed eh?

Blogging was something so essential in my life in the past. I can blog like 3 posts everyday about all the rubbish I do (and I wonder if people even read them but who cares! Those were awesome memories :)). Not forgetting all the "teenage lingos" I used to add in my blog like lahz, lorz, hahaz, ..., worxxx, etc etc. Those were the days! I can just retrieve any entry I want and have a good read, reminiscing about all the fun moments in the past :).

I guess what made blogging such an important part of my teenage life (I blogged since sec 2!) was that when I was down and I simply just want to shy away from people, yet I wished someone can know about how I feel, I can always blog. The blog is there, it doesn't reply, it just lets you type all the ventilations you want. Yet, people can read and reply all their views, encouragements and the like in your "taggy". It's encouraging, and sometimes it allows me to see things from another perspective that I've never seen before. Just by blogging, I made friends with people around the world!

Well, back then when things weren't that complex, you can blog about all your views and anything under the sun with no reservations. But things just aren't the same. You may notice that you probably can't find any of those posts that has the "teenage lingos" I mentioned, cuz this is a new blog that was set up 2 yrs ago due to some issues that arised because of some ventilations I made in my previous blog. I still felt rather angry about it because there was nothing confidential being disclosed, neither did I "tarnish the image" of my profession (as complained). All I did was to ventilate my emotions during the very painful period of probation at work. And because of that, I almost had to face disciplinary actions by my supervisor, but thankfully she was understanding and did not do anything more than just "gentle interrogation". Hence, I had to password block my 1000+-entry blog.

This incident has destroyed my passion for blogging completely, because I have to blog with alot more caution, for fear the same things may happen again. Sometimes I don't even know how to ventilate anymore. Its just lousy. I just blog in my password protected old blog occasionally, but there's no joy in it. Slowly I just shy away from blogging.

But now, I hope I can make a comeback in blogging again! :). I shall dedicate a little more time to blog about my life, my thoughts and anything interesting that I encounter :).

Well well, the bottomline after all these rubbish, blog with caution. I've now come with a new identity, and unless you're my friend, u probably won't know what I work as, what's my real name, blah blah. Of cuz, I may have to change the way I blog alot, but I guess that's but the only thing I can do for now, in order to still enjoy blogging :).

I shall update this blog more often with my random musings :). Stay tuned! :)

See? I'm so long-winded, how can I not blog! I'm wasting my talents! HAHA :D

ASSignments >_<

2009-11-01T23:02:00.002+08:00

I seriously think the person who coined the term, "assignment" must have been a pain in the ASS :(.

HE SHOULD BE STONED!

Okay, maybe not stoned. I'm just being a lil' hot now.

Oh man, I don't understand how everyone seem to be able to produce 2000-5000words long assignments, JUST LIKE THAT?! And here I am, trying to ingest those articles into my puny, demented (tt's why puny! Shrunken!) brain yet nothing seem to be really going in.

And, to my horror, I realised that this doc (doctorate) previously from my sch whom I went Japan with previously, has produced SOO MANY research articles, and a THESIS. Oh man. How can anyone write thesis?? That's.. insane.

I wish I have doraemon now! :'(

Reflect and refrain

2009-10-07T00:57:00.005+08:00

Its been a long time since I last posted any entry on this blog. And it has to be after a rather mind-boggling conversation and read.

In my thinking mode again.

Isn't it funny how human works? When things happen, its so fast to say, "that person is a bitch/bastard! its all his/her fault!", pointing fingers, passing nasty and totally unnecessary remarks and etc.

What about YOURself?

Well, I always think that in relationships, communications and anything that involves human, everything is a 2-way traffic. Things didn't happen because that acclaimed "bastard/bitch" made it happen SOLELY. Hey, what about YOU? Reflections, anyone?

Has anyone really stopped to think about whether you yourself, are the cause of adverse things that happen in life? Broken relationships, I should think, make up the most statistics. Its when there's a heartbreak that we see things like the above (nasty remarks) being passed everywhere, tarnishing the involved party's reputation.

I guess reflections is not a habit for many.

Even for myself, I find it so easy and so quick to pass judgments and point fingers when things go wrong. Yes, I do have the habit to do reflections, but I reflect only at the end of the day, or at the end of the whole situation. By then, it seem a little too late to have reflected, for we have already passed nasty judgments and pointed our filthy fingers at people. The damage is done.

I think we should all cultivate a habit of reflect and refrain. Reflect on what exactly happen and get a clear, objective picture, so as to Refrain from passing unnecessary remarks and pushing responsibilities on other people completely. We should all bear in mind that when things happen, WE are the cause of it too.

Just a food for thought, after a long talk with a friend and reading an involved friend's entries. Just find it a little upsetting to see things becoming so ugly!

PS: Sorry ar, as u can see, this entry is posted a little late, so I can't fully describe how I feel. Just pardon my lousy english cuz I'm really sleepy now!

Been and back :)

2009-08-01T21:58:00.004+08:00

I certainly enjoyed Hong Kong!!!!! WHEEE! :).

Many first times during this trip:

1. First time travelling with Jetstar.
2. First time to Hong Kong.
3. First time staying in such a tiny hostel, yet the service was great!
4. First time sitting a cable car up the mountain! Scenic :).
5. First time to Ocean Park! Whee :)!! Love it!
6. First time seeing a panda!! Cute!!! :)
7. First time seeing such a spectacular dolphin show!!
8. First time taking a ferry bigger than those to Pulau Ubin.
9. First time to Macau.
10. First time to a casino.
11. First time PLAYING in a casino. HAHA. Lost money with the jackpot machine T_T
12. First time seeing so many outlet stalls! Nice!
13. First time I don't feel guilty about my wallet when I buy mid to slightly up-market products cuz of the outlets! :)
14. First time eating from a fast food outlet with things like Lo Mai Kai. Awesome. Singapore should have it!
15. First time taking public transport outside Singapore.
16. First time taking a tram up the mountain.
17. First time standing on a tram down the mountain! Scary!!
18. First time I totally forgot about work! Hehe.
19. First time having my flight delayed..

Blah blah. Really enjoyable experience! I wanna go Hong Kong again! Fun moments always end with a snap of fingers. Just like that! :(. BUT, I still enjoyed my trip alot. Its even better with OH around. I just feel alot safer just knowing he's there. And of cuz, I didn't have to fret over those heavy shopping bags. Hehe. Love you dear :)!

Anw it was a little unpleasant at the end cuz the flight was delayed. We were supposed to return to Singapore at 1450hrs. BUT we only came back at 1625hrs (if I didn't remember wrongly). But the pilot was so humourous that I just ignore the unpleasant experience. Anw, the reason for our flight delay was an oven -_-. YES, an oven. Seems like the ground staff and the pilot were communicating to an oven instead of communicating to each other -_-. Messages weren't get across, and thus the plane cannot proceed. Its silly, but the way the pilot said it when we went on board was so funny. He sounded as exasperated as we are. Haha.

Aye, Monday gotta return to work! So fast! But after this enjoyable getaway and break (actually not really a break cuz we walked ALOT!! I think we probably exceed the target of 10000 steps/day just by SHOPPING alone!), I should be able to work properly, I hope!

Before I end, enjoy this finale of the dolphin performance. Filmed it down at the Ocean Park. Spectacular!

Will upload photos when I have the time! There're still photos in OH's camera that needs to be combined with mine. And my camera alone has 600+ shots :S. Sooo.. Yepps! Need time to filter them out before I can upload!

out of town

2009-07-27T12:48:00.002+08:00

Cincin will be out of town till Saturday :). I'm still reach-able by my mobile! But please call for urgent, emergency matters only. Overseas call ain't cheap! Finally a nice getaway after bonus, its awesome ;).

Don't miss me too much! HAHA :D.

When time is up..

2009-06-11T19:18:00.003+08:00

I'm really convinced now when the older folks say, "when your time is up, its up."

The other day I was on night duty. At 4+am I was still looking at uncle who was sitting up and smiling at me. 5+am when I went to attend to him, he was unresponsive. I thought I was dreaming and it was just one of those time whereby I'm knocking off soon and my eyes were playing tricks on me. When I shook and shook and he didn't respond and there was no spontaneous breathing, I know I've lost him.

As the family turned up, crying at the sudden loss of their loved one, I felt like crying myself. I was still recovering from shock myself. I explained to them what happened, and I felt my lips quivering. Like, what just happened?? Wasn't he still alive just now and looking at me?

Its when you're so helpless, u can't say, "its gonna be alright" cuz its not. He's dead.

After experiencing so many people leaving my life just like that, you really have to admit that sometimes some things are just meant to be. And if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Whatever you do will just be deemed futile. So just treasure everyone around you now, for you really won't know. The next moment you see them will be just during their funeral. Sighs.

Sorry for being so morbid and gloomy, but its really sad! Just need to let it out...

Updates.

2009-05-24T23:58:00.002+08:00

Wow, its been one month since I last blogged here! :S

Sorry for the lack of updates! I'm still alive, really! Life hasn't been exactly awesome for the past one month as I struggled with tiring rosters, preceptee who doesn't seem to understand anything I say and of cuz, the stress at work which is a constant.

The only thing I thank God alot for is an OH who supports, loves and is always there for me :). Thanks dear... <3

I was just talking to him yesterday, after a relaxing camping trip at Changi Beach (superb place! Better than ECP!!), looking back at my life I feel a little sad that I have to face the harshness of working world at such a young age.

I believe all the poly graduates will understand what I mean.

Upon graduation, we're only mere nineteen-year-old fresh graduates. If you have nice colleagues, they will "sayang sayang" you for being a xiao mei mei/di di (little girl/boy). But if u are in a working environment that is full of politics, people will just tekan you because you're young.

But I'm thankful I have nice colleagues, won't deny the fact that there are bad ones too, but still, I'm thankful for surviving. I do wish I had more time in school and that I will be able to enjoy more of those student days. Seriously, there are days when I hated work so much, I just wish I have the money to pay the bond and tender in my resignation. But well, also thank God for the bond, that I'm still here, learning how to survive in the workplace earlier than all my peers in university.

I guess this is life. Its just that I have to face it younger.

SIM sent me a brochure on degree courses at SIM Global. I was seriously contemplating to join the part time degree course (over 2 years). But sister asked, "are u coping at work anot first?" That struck me. I'm not.

I just hope all these will go away as I continue to learn how to cope, how to handle all the difficult situations that will face me in time to come. Keep me in prayers :)

One year...

2009-04-23T11:34:00.002+08:00

Just 16 days ago, I "celebrated" my first year at work!

How fast isn't it? To think I was so apprehensive about work back then, wondering if I'm able to cope and all. One year has just past like that!

But that doesn't mean as a one year missy I'm good. I'm still making blunders here and there (sighs..) and its outright demoralising. I need to knock some sense into this coconut of mine already! Playing sudoku to keep my brain active. Aiyo.

I just hope I can soon soon li li and work well, don't get myself into anymore trouble! Still got 2 years of bond wor. Haha.

Jiayou woman, you can do it! :)

"I need to piss!" *flashes victory sign* PEACE!

Apologies...

2009-04-04T21:13:00.003+08:00

I had a chat with Junyuan the other day about this particular person. Just few months back, when I was still serving in church, she was my leader, my teacher. She taught me many important and useful lessons and principles in life. How to handle situations in godly manner. She tried to be personal, and I know she is. But maybe due to her authority over me as a leader, there was a barrier between us and honestly I just can't share the deepest of my personal thoughts to her..

But to me, she was a friend and someone whom I know I can look to if I needed advice. She taught me how to be a leader. She led me to my calling for God and she encouraged me when I was broken by members of the cg. However, in my eyes, our relationship was no more than that of a leader and disciple. I simply did not dare to show her that I really couldn't cope with the leadership role in church as much as she thought I could.

I guess, for too long, I have been maintain too much of a spatiality between us, so naturally I suppressed too much of how I really felt. Despite toying with the idea of leaving, I struggled to stay on but I still try to appear spiritual in front of her and my members for the sake of the cg. God knows, and I know. Eventually I left church as the cg disbands. And naturally, she was the first person I couldn't face. I know I broke her heart by leaving, I've disappointed her as I wasn't able to meet her expectations.

She tried to contact me but I really can't face her. Moreover, being in church for too long, I know that she's also making attempts to bring me back to church again. At that point of time, the idea really puts me off, and I didn't want to respond to any of her calls, email or smses.

Of cuz, she is still someone dear to me as all that she taught me are valuable lessons to me. I try to catch up on her life by reading her blog, but each time I read it, I felt so remorseful as I thought about what I've done. Part of me wants to explain and apologise to her. The other part of me is too proud, ashamed, afraid to do so.

So as I was saying, I told Junyuan about what happened. He told me to take the initiative and email or sms her. I picked up my phone and didn't know what to text her. I opened my email and I didn't know where to start...

Sighs. I just pray that somehow something will happen.. Like a script will fall from heaven. Or somehow she'll see a vision of how guilty I am. Or whatever that will let her know that I am really sorry about leaving abruptly and being uncontactable subsequently.

God, can u teach me what to do..? :S

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2009-03-28T13:10:00.002+08:00

As I was looking through my MSN contacts today, some names led me into deep thoughts..

Aren't these the people who always went, "u can count on me!" or "lets keep in touch", and the like? What happened to them now?

As we pass through life, we will have met people from all over the places who call themselves "friends" to you. These may be people from ur school, church, workplace, etc. But isn't it sad that when you leave these places, all these "friends" leave altogether as well?

It just makes me feel sad that after I left this institution, all those so-call "friends" of mine haven't quite gotten in touch with me anymore. And sadly, these were the people whom I confided in or who confided in me. And now, I don't even hear from them anymore.

So, u may say that I'm also one of the culprits, for I didn't take the initiative to keep in touch. Alright, I won't deny it. Maybe I should start saying hi again?

Ahh. Shall not let such thoughts spoil my beautiful Saturday. Moreover, I'm going out with my OH so I should cheer up! :)

RICH KIDS.

2009-03-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

With all the crappy things about Wall Street and AIG, I thought that there's a bad 'economic downturn', as everyone is saying..

Today as I was on the bus home, I spot this supposedly JC kid (from the way she speaks + the things she say) looking very poised. She was holding to this Gucci handbag. I was already quite surprised at how she could get that Gucci bag, when she whipped out another Kate Spade wallet from that bag. Like what?!

Actually its not the first time I'm seeing things like these.

Take more public transport, open ur eyes bigger and you'll see that LV Gucci Chanel is no longer something for the rich. EVERYONE (alright I'm exaggerating..) is holding a LV wallet, Gucci handbag, Miu Miu bags, true religion jeans, ed hardy tees... whatever brands u name, I'm sure within one hour of standing around the streets, u can find someone possessing them. Interestingly, most of them are young people! Alright, lets give a them benefit of the doubt, MAYBE its just an A grade counterfeit product from China. But really, even so, where do all these people get the money to travel even!

The other thing that's commonly seen is MP3 players. I guess that there're about 20-30% of commuters on one bus ride alone listens to a MP3. From observation, most of them are carrying branded MP3 players like Ipod, Creative, Samsung or the like. It is as though Ipods are selling at 10bucks each but NO. Still the same price, no change at all. In fact, I do think that with more added functions to the newer generations of Ipod, the price actually increased! Same as for other brands of cuz.

I can't help but wonder, what's with the so-called "economic downturn"? Lets think this way, with "economic downturn", Singaporeans are already so well-to-do, what happens when we're really prospering?

I was just thinking, is it a REAL economic downturn, or is it more of a MENTAL downturn. Mind over flesh. Quite familiar to all eh?

Just an interesting thought.

Alright I shall stop here. With my bad command of English, I really don't know how to express myself well. Hahaha :D. Hope that everyone reading will understand me! :S

PMS

2009-03-19T14:55:00.003+08:00

"Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle."

Its something every girl goes through monthly.

Its the time of the month whereby you'll just do silly shit for no reason.
Shout for no reason.
Cry for no reason.
Laugh for no reason.
Eat for no reason.
Starve for no reason.
Tired for no reason.
Hyper for no reason.
Grouch for no reason.
Irritated for the slightest or even no reason.
Mood swings like mad with no reason!
Just want to cuddle your little teddy, hide under those nice comforter and have some sweet chocolate ice cream (to hell with all the diet plans).

But when you are working, in order to present your professional image, you hide 'em. Trying ur best to mask everything.

So after suppressing your deepest emotions, you just wish that those close to you actually understands what you're going through instead of getting mad when you do irrational and silly things.

Being a woman is not easy. Do men actually understand? Or do they think that we're just trying to be silly/difficult/irritating/______(fill in the blanks) and using PMS as an excuse?

What do you men know?!

Okay fine. I hate to be a woman. Maybe I should be a man.

AHH. I'm PMS-ing. Can't you tell?! Damn it!

Okay I'm really, going irrational already. Stop it Cinthia, stop it!

Uncertain..

2009-03-09T16:34:00.004+08:00

Had a long random chat with Sau until a point whereby we started talking about religion.

Yes dearies, I'm no longer attending church since about 3 months back. U didn't know? Now you do. I guess I'm taxed out by all the juggling with work + church, plus, to be frank, I don't really know who from church can I share the most deepest of my struggles and feelings with, without them feeling that I'm backsliding and start getting all preachy on me.

Yes, been taught to have friends and that iron sharpens iron, I've been sharpening other people's iron so much that I don't know which iron I can find to sharpen my own anymore..

Well, I tried to psycho myself that I shall look for a church to settle down or go back to my own church again soon after I sort out my thoughts when I left.

But interestingly, nobody came to ask about me, except my cg boys who came and asked me out for dinner and reminisce. And in fact when I told another churchmate that I left, he went, "oops, sorry." and i never heard from him again. Ha.

So 3 months after leaving, talking to someone about church from another church is awkward, but thank God Sau was friendly and approachable enough not to make me feel awkward...

The only issue here is that after 3 months from leaving, I really don't feel like going back anymore. Aye, give me some time to think through things ba..

Let me enjoy my leave and then think about this when I'm back :).

Bye people!

"Cinthia likes to..."

2009-03-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

This is more fun!

A. Go to Google
B. Type your name and the words "likes to" all in quotation marks. (e.g. "Stephen likes to")
C. Report back on the first ten things that come up for your name.

Cinthia likes to participate in the Good Shepherd Catechesis program. -_-
Cinthia likes to play outside.
Cinthia likes to get away and drown her pain in lemonade. (HAHA)
Cinthia likes to help little kids, she thinks its fun.
Cinthia likes to hang out during off hours and is trying to improve skill in order to get ahead professionally.
CiNTHIA LIKES TO SHAKE HER BOMM BOOMMM UP N DOWN. (wth?!)
Cinthia likes to play outdoors during off hours and is trying to learn from master/mistress in order to get ahead professionally.
Cinthia likes to run into trees. ($*&(#*&*%%?!?!?!?!)

There's only 8 results for my name! How sad! But its super funny can! Omg :D

And no, I don't like to run into trees -_-

urban dictionary

2009-03-02T22:34:00.004+08:00

Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, and write the FIRST definition it gives you. Read this! Its SUPER funny but silly at the same time. I had a good laugh :D

[1] Your First Name: Cinthia
a common name for an es salvadorian girl who likes to call everyone dorks. Is called a "fat lard" by mighty midget. Also dates a guy named kenneth.
Omg, throw that mayonnaise at cinthia!

Now what's with me and mayonnaise?! And who is Kenneth?!

[2] Your Last Name: Lim
1. Lesbian Identified Man. A man so identified with lesbians that he loses perception about his role as a man. Acts and behaves extremely woman like, up to the extent that he refuses to engage in classic intercourse with a woman (eg. no penetration). The fictional character "Lisa" from the showtime drama The L Word is an example of a Lesbian Identified Man. He appears for a few episodes in the first season of this series.
I will not put up the example sentence.. Too vulgar!

2. Lips In Motion. A person who verbally expresses extrodinarily long versions of a story, usually true accounts.
There he goes again with that long story, he is such a LIM.

3. Laugh Inside Myself
Let's be honest. How many times do you type LOL when you really aren't laughing out loud? LIM let's the person know that they made you laugh inside yourself.

4. Laughing Inside Me
Better than lol in office enviroments
A: I saw this guy trip in a bucket
B: Lim

5. The worst huntard in all of World of Warcraft.
You got ganked by LIM?! Wow, you're trash, go /wrists kthx.

6. n. used to describe a bad joke or pun. popular among international students.
-what did he say?
-he screamed, 'i said i want I SCREAAAM!'
-oh he pulled a lim again.

7. n. An elaborate bad joke, usually a pun
"We ought to have a friend named Ruth. That way, when she left the table, we could say 'We're Ruth-less.'" "
Wow, man. That was a huge lim."

8. The stage between liking someone and loving them.
'I'm just so... in lim with him'

9. When staring at a hot guy makes you hungry for chinese takeaway
"Oh, he's so Lim right now!" "Just the sight of him makes me lim"

I have totally nothing to say about all the definitions of LIM but to LOL. -_-.

[3] Your Birth Month: December
1. The month in which the hottest women are born.
That girl is FINE! She must have been born in December.

Oooh! I'm HOT! HAHAHAH :D:D:D.

2. The best month out of the entire year. That's why they left it last.
Her birthday is in December.

3. An excellent time of year where the snow is beautiful, the weather is cold, and the closer you get to the end of the month the more your birthday sucks. If your birthday is very close to Christmas, it is okay to hate your birthday.
I and four other people in my family have birthdays in December, all around Christmas. I hate my birthday.

That's cute :D

[4] Your Age: 20
There're a couple of definitions, will put up a few..
1. location or current status/activity
what's your 20, fool

2. the number before 21 and after 19. generally used when counting.
"i can count to twenty!" "twenty is my favorite number."
What kind of definition is this man?!

3. the number of balls 10 guys has
lets see.. how many balls are here? 19? HAH!
wth?!

4. Refering to a $20.00 bag of marijuana. Also known as a "twin"
Let me pick up that 20 fool.

[5] Your Birthplace: Singapore

5 types of climate: hot, very hot, damn its freakin' hot, wow look roast human char siew all over the streets!, otherwise.
4 common interest among all typical Singaporeans: Food, glorious food! Shopping, Welcome to the Great Singapore Sale! Toto/4D, come Saturday Sunday.. will I win? (bai liu li bai hui bu hui kai), Education - "Boy AH! u finish tuition homework liao or not! Later got piano lesson! AIYO! Your spelling learn already anot?!"
3 MRT lines: North South line, East West line, North East line
2 hours(approx): is needed to travel from one end to another end of Singapore.
1 common language: Singlish "See liao lah... What you want?" "SCUSE"
Singapore is rojak.

[6] Your Current Location: Bedroom
1. The romp room. ;-)
Hey Janet, let's go to the bedroom!
-_-........ *speechless*

2. The room in your house where you sleep and keep your clothes. Bedrooms usually have a closet in them.
I need to go check my bedroom to make sure everything is still there.

[7] Your Favorite Number: 7
1. The fiercest digit known to man.
7 is the fiercest digit because 7 8 9. Ha.
7 ate 9, u get it?

2. A verbal middle finger.
person 1:"man, you really suck at bowling!"
person 2:"7"
Oh wow.. Anw there's 3 pages of definitions, go check it out urself!

[8] Your Favorite Color: Green
yes... it is most definitely referring to the marijuana... and also, upon occassion, any substance with similar uses. too, properly, of course, it is a golfing term, but that;s really not very much fun, now is it?
''yo, where da green at?''
Cute! :D Yo where da green at! :D. Anw there's 14 pages of definitions....

[9] Your Favorite Movie: can't think of any at this moment. May fill in at later date.

[10] Your Closest Friends: AMY!
to take, hold, or steal your heart. a person who is a soulmate. a good lover.
she pulled an amy on my heart. (she stole or holds my heart)
my heart was amyied. (my heart was stolen)
watch out she will amy you. (she will steal your heart)
you have yourself an amy. (you have yourself a soulmate)
AMY! :D U're a good lover! HAHAHA!

[11] The Last Person You Talked To (Who Isn't Already Mentioned): Muan
muan is another word to describe the female genitals (minge). first discovered by phil and sam in a moment of intoxication.
Man that bitch has a nice muan!!!
AHHHHH!!!!! I'm going crazy!!! $#%*(#&%(&^%()!

[12] Your nickname: cin
A small asian loving person/child. Its habitat is heavily wooded areas such as Spinneys and Forests. They have the inability to move, instead they travel by hanging on to people walking past. They are very vicious, but generally cannot cause any damage. Also there scent is to be noted as it is a musky scent with a tint of what seems to smell like smoke. Nobody knows the source of their scent but is globally accepted as repulsive.
Kaotik: Did you see that Cin back there?
Skitik: No, where was it?
Alex: I saw it aswell it tried to grab Dauccia
What is this?!

JOOOO KOOOOON

2009-02-24T20:46:00.002+08:00

This is really a post-dated entry.

Few days back on the 18th, I went to Bugis to do some shopping alone since it was a hard-earned day off. I was at City Hall MRT changing train, so was looking at the East-West line's signages to acertain where to go. Then I saw this:

For one moment I thought I was at the wrong place. Where the hell is Joo Koon?! What happened to Boon Lay?

Then I went to the directory board, and it was like a light bulb just lit up in my head.

Chey. New lines extending from Boon Lay to Pioneer and Joo Koon. Half of circle line is out too, for Marymount, Bartley, Serangoon, etc. Not too sure is it I never read newspaper or what. But seems like I was not the only one who was wondering about the Joo Koon thing cuz when I was waiting for the train back from Bugis, there were alot of people who were like, "what Jooo Kooon?!" and it was damn funny :D.

Oh wells, just an update for those who don't take trains THAT often. Like me. Haha.

Joo Koon!

Bilingual Children Have an Increased Risk of Stuttering

2009-02-17T21:43:00.001+08:00

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) Jan 22 - The risk of stuttering is increased among young bilingual children, according to findings published in the January issue of the Archives of Disease in Childhood. These children also have less chance of recovery from stuttering than monolingual speakers who stutter.

Bilingualism is considered a risk factor for stuttering, Dr. Peter Howell, of University College London, and colleagues point out, but "there is little information about how a second language affects the chances of stuttering onset and of recovery."

A total of 317 children between the ages of 8 and 12 years who stuttered participated in the study. The 69 children who were bilingual were matched to a group of fluent bilingual controls.

The main outcome measures included subjects' stuttering history, Standard Attainment Test educational scores, and measures of recovery or persistence of stuttering.

Of the 38 bilingual children who used a language other than English at home, 36 stuttered in both languages. Two of the 38 children stuttered in their native language but did not stutter in English.

Fewer children who used their alternative language exclusively at home and learned English in school stuttered, compared with those who used both languages at home - 39.5% versus 60.5%, respectively.

By contrast, fluent bilingual controls were more likely to speak their alternative language exclusively at home -- 73.7% versus 26.3%, respectively. The difference between bilingual stutterers and bilingual fluent speakers who spoke only their original language during their preschool years was statistically significant (p = 0.003).

The recovery rate for children who spoke both languages at home prior to school age was 25%, compared with 55% in both the alternative language exclusively and monolingual speakers.

However, Dr. Howell's group also found that early school performance was not affected by stuttering.

"Together, these findings suggest that if a child uses a language other than English in the home, deferring the time when they learn English reduces the chance of starting to stutter and aids the chances of recovery later in childhood."

Taken from: http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/587209?src=mp&spon=24&uac=113552SK

---------------------------

Now I think I understand how come I catch pronounciations easily! Cuz when I was young, I only speak mandarin and nothing else. During English class, I stutter trying to make myself understood. So now I know why I can speak in English and Mandarin fluently! :D. Heh heh. *brags*

Now we know how to teach our children to be bilingual scholars next time! Make them speak only ONE language first! Haha.

Bruxism

2009-02-13T23:45:00.004+08:00

Something to share :D. Its a lengthy post as I directly copied and paste from Wikipedia, so u can skip the details if you want :). Mainly read the headings and the 1st line :D. Hahah.

Bruxism (from the Greek βρυγμός (brugmós), gnashing of teeth) is the grinding of the teeth, and is typically accompanied by the clenching of the jaw. It is an oral parafunctional activity that occurs in most humans at some time in their lives. In most people, bruxism is mild enough not to be a health problem. While bruxism may be a diurnal or nocturnal activity, it is bruxism during sleep which causes the majority of health issues, and can even occur during short naps. Bruxism is one of the most common sleep disorders.

Associated factors
The following factors are associated with bruxism.

Disturbed sleep patterns and other sleep disorders (obstructive sleep apnea, hypopnea, snoring, moderate daytime sleepiness)
Malocclusion, in which the upper and lower teeth occlude in a disharmonic way, e.g., through premature contact of back tooth
Relatively high levels of consumption of caffeinated drinks and foods, such as coffee, colas, and chocolate
High levels of blood alcohol
Smoking
High levels of anxiety, stress, work-related stress, irregular work shifts, stressful profession and ineffective coping strategies
Medication, such as SSRIs and stimulants
Hypersensitivity of the dopamine receptors in the brain
Stimulant drugs, particularly those of the amphetamine-based family (MDMA)
GHB and similar GABA-inducing analogues such as Phenibut, when taken with high frequency
Disorders such as Huntington's and Parkinson's diseases

Treatment
There is no single accepted cure for bruxism. However, treatments are available.

Bruxism may be reduced or even eliminated when the associated factors, e.g. sleep disorders, are treated successfully

Mouthguards and splints (you can skip the details if you want :D)
Ongoing management of bruxism is based on minimizing the abrasion of tooth surfaces by the wearing of an acrylic dental guard or splint, designed to the shape of an individual's upper or lower teeth from a bite mould. Mouthguards are obtained through visits to a dentist for measuring, fitting, and ongoing supervision. There are four possible goals of this treatment: constraint of the bruxing pattern such that serious damage to the temperomandibular joints is prevented, stabilization of the occlusion by minimizing the gradual changes to the positions of the teeth that typically occur with bruxism, prevention of tooth damage, and the enabling of a bruxism practitioner to judge — in broad terms — the extent and patterns of bruxism, through examination of the physical indentations on the surface of the splint. A dental guard is typically worn on a long-term basis during every night's sleep.

Professional treatment is medically recommended to ensure proper fit, make ongoing adjustments as needed, and check that the occlusion (bite) has remained stable. Monitoring of the mouthguard is suggested at each dental visit.

Another type of device sometimes given to a bruxer is a repositioning splint. A repositioning splint may look similar to a traditional night guard, but is designed to change the occlusion, or "bite," of the patient. Randomly controlled trials with these type devices generally show no benefit over more conservative therapies and they should be avoided under most if not all circumstances.

The NTI-tss device is another option that can be considered. The NTI covers only the front teeth and prevents the rear molars from coming into contact, thus limiting the contraction of the temporalis muscle. The NTI must be fitted by your dentist.

The efficacy of such devices is debated. Some writers propose that irreversible complications can result from the long-term use of mouthguards and repositioning splints.

Botox (HAHAHAH!!)
Botulinum toxin (Botox) has recently been seen to be very successful in treating the grinding and clenching of bruxism. Botox is an injectable medication that weakens muscles and is used commonly in cosmetic procedures to relax the muscles of the face and decrease the appearance of wrinkles. Botox was not originally developed for cosmetic use, however. It was, and continues to be, used to treat diseases of muscle spasticity such as blepharospasm (eyelid spasm), strabismus (crossed eyes) and torticollis (wry neck). Bruxism can also be regarded as a disorder of repetitive, unconscious contraction of the masseter muscle (the large muscle that moves the jaw). Botox works very well to weaken the muscle enough to stop the grinding and clenching, but not so much as to interfere with chewing or facial expressions. The strength of Botox is that the medication goes into the muscle, weakens it and does not get absorbed into the body. The procedure involves about five or six simple, relatively painless injections into the masseter muscle. It takes a few minutes per side and the patient starts feeling the effects the next day. Occasionally, some bruising can occur, but this is quite rare. The symptoms that are helped by this procedure include:

Grinding and clenching
Morning jaw soreness
TMJ pain
Muscle tension throughout the day
Migraines triggered by clenching
Neck pain and stiffness triggered by clenching

The optimal dose of Botox must be determined for each person as some people have stronger muscles that need more Botox. This is done over a few touch up visits with the physician injector. This treatment is expensive, but sometimes Botox treatment of Bruxism can be billed to medical insurance (plans vary - its good to call your plan beforehand to find out what is covered and what documentation is necessary). The effects last for 3 months or so. The muscles do atrophy; however, so after a few rounds of treatment it is usually possible to either decrease the dose or increase the interval between treatments.

Other authorities caution that Botox should only be used for temporary relief for severe cases and should be followed by diagnosis and treatment to prevent future bruxism or jaw clenching, suggesting that prolonged use of Botox can lead to permanent damage to the jaw muscle.

Dietary supplements
There is limited evidence that suggests taking certain combinations of dietary supplements may alleviate bruxism; pantothenic acid[citation needed], magnesium, and calcium have been examined.

(information taken from wikipedia.org)

Reason why I put this is because I grind my teeth during sleep and seems like my sister has been telling me since I was quite young. And apparently, the problem seem to be getting worse lately, but I'm not sure if its true! Cuz I dunno :D. I'm asleep what. I get from feedbacks :D.

And I see the associating factors, I kinda understand why. I drink so much coffee and am under so much stress, I think I will grind my teeth till it turns into powder soon :S.

ANW. After reading the article, I'm proud to say, I have all the reason to go for botox! Don't stop me! :D Heh heh.

But before I go for botox, maybe a cheaper alternative will be a proper mouth guard. But I seriously feel like some mad dog if I really wear a mouth guard to sleep. And I'm very sure I will wake up with wet pillow from all the drool! EEeeeeks!

Looks like I will be wearing dentures before everyone of you :D

ARRRGHH..

2009-02-13T00:18:00.005+08:00

I'M ON DUTY THIS WEEKEND AGAIN!!
I'M ON DUTY NEXT WEEKEND AGAIN!!
AND I'M ON WEEKEND NIGHT YET AGAIN!!!

WHAT THE HELL.

This is just crap la. When can I EVER get another weekend off?!?!?!?

As if this is not enough, yet another thing to Argh about:

MY OH IS OVERSEAS ON V-DAY!! :'(.

I'm certainly looking like the baby in the picture, albeit ~~more~~ less cute. Er hem. Sighs.

I feel that my life is so sad. Hahaha. But NEVERMIND. I'll probably go for an ex colleague's wedding, then maybe da bao some nice makan back for my another colleague who's on call if time permits :). V-day is not just about me and OH, but everyone around me too ;). Hehe.

Okay Cin, stop whining, go and sleep. Tmr is AM shift....... (SIAN)

WEEKEND ON AGAIN

2009-01-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

Grrrrrr. I keep having to work on weekends! I hate this :(.

For how many weekends I've been working alr. But I don't want to request, cuz if I keep requesting weekends off, I won't get the chance to take the off next time lo.

Request also no use la. I requested a day off for 16th cuz my other half (OH) is off. THEN I was scheduled to go for some talk and be an usher, given official hours somemore. Best.

Grrrr.. I just want more weekends off, or at least give me one off one AM shift or something like that la. Very sad. Especially when my OH is a 5-day workweek person! Hmmm :(

Ahh just want to whine. Going to sleep soon. Yes tmr is Saturday and I'm working AM shift. While everyone is snoozing their heads off and waking up late, I've gotta be up at 4.45am to prepare. ARGH!!!! >_<

Complain complain! >_<

Nobody wants to read my blog no more :(

2009-01-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry for the LOoooOoooooooOOOoong delay. If Junyuan haven't told me, I wouldn't have realised that I haven't been blogging for 1 month +! Man!

To think I used to blog like twice a day? HAHA :D Silly silly me.

For the past one month, basically I've been rather busy. Many things have happened. I've been writing notes on Facebook instead cuz I can write them on the go, using Facebook Mobile via my HP. For those who doesn't have FB, summary:

- Thanks to all ur prayers. My aunt decide to pull the plug since my cousin was certified brain dead. So yepps. He left peacefully la.

- New year was spent camping with my other half, and had lots of fun!

- CNY reunion dinner, brought him to show mommy, and mommy seem to like him :). Hehe.

- CNY day 1 went to grandma's place. Mixed feelings, dealing with a loss and yet an inclusion to the family. Its odd. But everything brought us closer, which is good to a certain extent..

- Apart from these special occasions, I've been basically working hard in my workplace still. Still slogging hard to deliver the best I can :D. And still complaining alot, as usual. Hehe.

That's so much about my life since the last post.

To everyone, Happy Niu Year :).

I will try to update more la :D. Hahaha. So sorry!

Miracles...

2008-12-26T00:40:00.002+08:00

Thanks for all your prayers. If you were following my Facebook blog, you may have noted about my cousin's incident. Thank God, his condition has got SLIGHT improvements. Just slight. At least the BP and ICP has stabilised more or less, and he's no longer having a fever. Of cuz, we're all hoping for miracles to happen :). PRAY!

Am thankful also, that the drunk driver (ARGH! SCREW HIM!!!) got caught. As to what sentence, I'm not too sure. It better be a heavy sentence. He better come to the neuro ICU and have a good look at what he has done to an innocent life. He ought to feel guilty..

Well, I'm just hoping good things will happen, and will continue to happen. I'd rather he wakes up and rehab for 1 yr back to at least 75% of premorbid status than to stay like that... Of cuz medically we know that may be impossible, BUT, we shall see :)

Sad things aside, I'm still quite excited over a new inclusion in my life: a Lenovo s10 laptop!!! :)

(I lazy to take photos la :D)

After hunting for months and contemplating over a Kohjinsha laptop, Asus Eee PC and many other mini laptops, I finally decide to get this Lenovo S10 after getting my bonus (which is like peanuts?!), and I'm loving it! :)

Its not REALLY very small, but considerably small la (10" only :)!). I love how sleek it is and the best part, I got a free upgrade of RAM to 2.5GB and a free laptop bag! :D. The only thing now is, I REALLY NEED THE MICROSOFT OFFICE. Any kind souls? :).

Now I'm trying to back up my things in a little thumb drive of mine, and I think I'm really silly looking. Forget it, I shall hunt for a portable HD! :D

The only flaw about this laptop is the keyboard. Its already bigger compared to other mini laptops, but I have a problem typing the ! cuz I kept typing @ instead of ! :D. Haha. The mini laptop with one of the most impressive keyboards is HP mini, but wells I don't like the spects so nahh :D. Haha.

Okay I shall go to bed alr. My whole Christmas is ruined by a stupid shitty roster, so I really need my beauty sleep now! :D

Unpredictable

2008-12-10T13:05:00.002+08:00

For the 3rd time in this month, I'm hearing about friends/family of ppl I know passing on..

Today I just found out that David Ho, the doc who got crashed in the coach at Malaysia, is someone my friend knows.. How sudden eh?

Its like, today u see this person alive and kicking. He/She's probably having coffee with you, laughing and reminiscing over the past. Next thing you know, you receive news that this friend of you has passed away due to __________ (fill in the blanks).

For 3 times this month, I hear things like this happening to ppl around me.

I guess this really teaches us to be a better friend/family to people around us? Life can be so unpredictable isn't it? U never know what can happen to this person. For all u know, after this post I may meet a car accident and be in critical condition. (God forbids) I mean, you really will never know.

How scary. Its so difficult for a mother to conceive and gestate for 9months and squeeze like mad to make a baby. But on the contrary, it takes only ONE cause (RTA, cancer, etc) to contribute to the death of a person, in a split second.

Life is REALLY so unpredictable..

I thank God I'm still alive and kicking, still able to do whatever I like.

God, I pray for Your peace to be in all these 3 people whom I know, who've lost someone dear to them. May Your peace that surpass all understanding envelope them, and give them the strength they need to move on. Amen.

"Professionalism"

2008-12-03T13:20:00.002+08:00

With regards to my previous post, thanks for all the concern. Eventually I DID get to sit in my supervisor's office, but not for what happened that day. In fact, whatever happened that day seem to have gone with the wind. She didn't say a single thing. Nobody said a single thing, in fact.

So, I was being ticked at for being too childish. Grrr.

Feedback from the ground:

"Orh! She's that childish girl right!"
"Too kiddy."
"Too jumpy."
"Too giggly."

I made a face when she told me that I need to be more professional when I put on the uniform. In fact, I looked down and pout. I hope she didn't see it, though :D.

Aiya, I'm acting my age what. Nobody can deny the fact that I'm STILL, the youngest in my department. I'm not even 21! In fact, I just turned 20 today! (Happy birthday to me. HAHA.) I'm still full of zest and youth :D. Why must I act old? :(

There's a stark difference between professionalism and youth, in my opinion. Okay la, I admit sometimes I do jump around too much. But that's only sometimes ma... Not like I always jump around in front of my clients or their relatives -_-. I mean, I know when to do the right thing. Or at least I THINK I know.

Perhaps its my turn to reflect on myself. :D

Yes yes yes. PRRROOOOfesionalism okay.... Bahh!

AGAIN.

2008-12-01T20:10:00.002+08:00

For the nth time in these 3 weeks, my name has been appearing in the "message book" of my work place, been called up on my hp at least 2 times by my supervisor and has sat in my supervisor's office for "coffee" at least 3 times...

Message book is like the forum of my workplace. Everything that u want to highlight to the department will be written in the message book. Messages will be passed down every shift to ensure EVERYONE knows what's the latest happenings.

Anyways something happened again and I was called up by my supervisor on my way home. Scared the poop outta my life. I'm almost certain my name is in the message book, and my supervisor's office will be my next place to go (again).

I warm up the seat in my supervisor's office before anyone sits on it....

WHY?! I don't understand why am I still making blunders like these u know. Initially I was "made famous" in the message book for documentation errors, fair enough. I've paid up my "fines", I've made ammendments and I've been quite careful.

THEN kena documentation error AGAIN. Corrective actions done. Got scolded bad bad by my own supervisor and another supervisor who chose to publicise my wrong deeds. Sighs. Have been diligently updating my supervisor with happenings in the department whenever she calls and wheverer she asked.

THEN things happen again today! I told her almost everything that happened except for this as I didn't think it was something I need to inform her. Turns out that its a "big issue" and I almost got myself into deep poop. Just thank God the results came back okay, but tmr I'll be receiving a big trashing from my supervisor...

Very demoralising can :(. I already don't know what is considered "important" and what is not now. I'm confused at the things I should tell my supervisor and the things I don't need to. Just because of this one incident, the things that I diligently told sister was perceived as redundant, and I was penalised for that.

Bug also wrong, don't bug also wrong. What am I supposed to do?! How long more will I stop making errors?!

I find that the more I want to prove myself capable and worthy, the more I make mistakes. What is happening???

Birthday apathy.

2008-11-28T00:12:00.007+08:00

Yepps. Birthday is coming. People have been reminding me. BUT for some strange reason, I don't feel excited at all. Though I'm thankful that many people actually remembered and are asking me what I want, how I celebrate and all :). Thanks guys!

Been given a day off on that day, by God's grace. But somehow I do wish that I'm actually working.

No idea why, nv felt this way before, but I do wish that I'm working on that day or else I will just rot at home.. Don't feel like celebrating my birthday at all.. Sighs..

No, I'm not depressed over the fact that I'm stepping into the big 2, age doesn't matter to me (as of yet).

I just don't feel like celebrating at all.

Sighs.

Nevermind. Like every year, I will put up a wishlist (which will never be fulfilled eventually), so here goes (for custom sake :D):

1. Kohjinsha UMPC (of any model:))

2. DSLR Camera

3. Ipod (or any MP3 players with big screens!)

4. Bags and more bags!

Basically bags that are big enough to fit A4, can carry weight and can be slung on the shoulder :). Oversized clutches are awesome too:D But I welcome small girly bags for functions too. :)

5. ~~Sundresses~~ Clothes and such

(Can't find a picture of nice clothes. Rather, I'm lazy. HAHA)

Basically this is one that won't go wrong and its probably the cheapest of the lot :D.
Above-knee length dresses/sundresses, tank tops, skirts, cropped pants, jeans, heels, flats, etc etc. Anything nice! :) Ask me for size, don't be shy :D

(Seriously, just get me a sundress if u are broke and feel bad not to get me anything. HAHA. Less than 20bucks. Far East plaza, filthy cheap.)

The DO-NOT-GET list

1. Photoframes
2. Soft toys
3. Cups
4. Decorative items
5. CDs
6. Anything that I cannot use..

Okay, so if you feel that you may have some spare cash this month, u can always get me a gift from the above 5 options for my birthday. Otherwise, just sms me on my birthday, simply. I'm a no-fuss person. Alr not in the mood to celebrate, so whether there's a gift or not also doesn't matter :D. (Obviously, I will appreciate and love every gift la aiyo.)

Powerpacked.

2008-11-25T23:44:00.002+08:00

Powerpacked week.

Post night shift was Asia Conference week :). Totally awesome. Though physically tiring, but I never regretted going for it! Met a few other people who shared the same vision as I do. I think I can venture in this :).

God, I will need your direction in this...

Post Asia Conference was back to work, and a morning duty with audit (again). This time is yet ANOTHER audit on service quality. Was selected to answer questions. Not sure if I should be honoured that I was being selected by a senior management (according to my supervisor). Anw by the grace of God, we did very well. Anyhow hantam my answers and they say we did very well. Hehe :). Thank God!

Post audit went swimming with colleague at Mount Faber SAFRA. Finally got to see how nice that place with. The jacuzzi was really awesome for a long week of physically draining activities. Haha.

Post swimming, went to visit the Henderson's curve bridge. SOOO PRETTY. The view there is really nice. Immediately thought of the boys. Am so gonna get them to go there for their photoshoots!

Post.... post sight-seeing (?!) was Botak Jones session! Sinful treat after swimming :D. Been so long since I last ate Botak Jones!

Mmmmm. Shared a fish and chips :D

And my standing fish fillet looked like youtiao.

Anyone ever know that u actually pour this on your fries to make it taste nicer? And I love the taste!! We added alot, eventually, cuz its SOOO nice. I love vinegar :).

Just random blogging about my life la. Cuz I think this blog is dying. HAHA :D

Mooncup

2008-11-23T02:57:00.002+08:00

Nope, not a condom. Its MOONCUP.

What's a mooncup?

Its a reusable menstrual cup....

Basically u shuff this thing up ur there and it collects the menstrual fluids. Just gotta remove it when its filling up and wash it then u can wear it back again to collect more fluids.. *gulps*

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but its quite scary..

Read more about it at http://applemilky.org/.

Anw reading the feedbacks and reviews, it seem quite good.. But the thought of using it still puts me off. Any comments..?

CROCraziness....

2008-11-16T23:20:00.004+08:00

PHWOAR!!!

Met up with the girls to go join the queues for the Crocs Sale. IT WAS REALLY SIAO. I tell you.

Headed to hall 4, and was already traumatized by the length of the queue! It extended ALL the way to hall 3 laa.. We queued for about 30-odd mins just to get in. Then the next shocker: The payment queue......

This was taken at the payment queue. Can u see how many rounds it went?! Chieh and I were saying it's like the alimentary canal of a human being. The queue is prolly as long as our intestines! Grrr!

The saddest part, due to the sizing of my feet, its extremely hard to find shoes at such a BIG sale. To make things worse, if you look closely at the photos, you'll see people carrying bags and bags of Crocs apparels and shoes, enough to last an entire BATALLION for a year :S. Meaning I'm basically left with nothing :S.

End up, I acted like one of the aunties, and managed to SNATCH (literally.. I don't think you want to be there to see how I snatched for it... :S) for a pair of size 7 Celeste Suede in Candy/Ruby!

Love it :).

Actually I was ogling at the pair that Vien got. The Celeste Canvas in White/Khaki. Its SUPER nice can! But too bad la, big feet :(.

My intention for going to this Crocs sale was actually to just get a pair of Prima ballet flats, Alice flats or Malindi flats in neutral and versatile colours like black, sliver, gold or the like. BUT sadly, Prima flats size 7 are left with hard to match colours like dark purple and dark aqua blue. Alice flats are worse -- only left with size NINE in dark aqua blue -_-. Malindi flats? Don't talk about it. Only KIDS size! >_<..! Grrr.

So basically I queued the entire day to get that pair of Celeste. Sighs. BUT for a whoooping cheap price of only $25! :) (Original is about 50-60 odd!) That's the happy part. Hehe. If not for the colours, I would have grabbed the Prima also. Only 15 bucks! :)

The best part is the catching up :). I really miss the girls ALLLOOOTT!!! :'(. It was a pity that Cor can't come :(. Sighs. But still, we had alot of fun laughing, talking about things at work. Its just so nice :). I can't wait for AL to come, then we can go TAIWAN together!!! Wheee!!!

Love you girls! XOXO ;). Hehe.

PEANUTS.

2008-11-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

That's how much I'm being paid every month for slogging hard, skipping meals, losing sleep and endure mental torment for superiors sometimes.

GOD! I need a breakthrough in my finances!!

On a lighter note, ASIA CONFERENCE IS COMING (: But I'll have to work NIGHT SHIFT on the week of AC, and I will miss like half of the conference :'(. Sighs.... I felt like crying when I know that I had no tag cuz Yvonne thought I could make if for none of the sessions, when actually I can go on Fri :(. Just hope that I can squeeze myself into ONE of the electives on Fri :(. Just ONE (2 will be better!)!!

I'm so excited for Asia Conference, really. Am praying that it'll be a great one! Woohoo!

Cg ytd revealed what I've been fearing for the past one week. I felt that it was coming, but I was hoping hard that it won't.. I almost cried on Fri when Yvonne announced it.. I told the members to welcome the new change, if need be, but deep down, I know its hard to change... :(. Sighs..

2008 is truly a year of changes and transitions for me.. I just hope it'll end well..

Here I am!

2008-11-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

I think I need to blog more here :D.

Due to this blog being so public, and since I've gotten myself into trouble with my previous blog, I don't really dare to reveal my occupation in this blog. So I've set up many blogs elsewhere where I blog my work happenings, my private thoughts, etc. So much so that I neglected this blog! Sorry cincinnati :(.

So here I am, blogging once again :)! Welcome back!

Back to the blogging proper, I've finally recover from my cold! :) Thank God! Finally got back my voice and CAN FINALLY HIT THE KTV! :) My goodness. Was SO crippled by the lost of voice and the cough from the cold!

Rather interestingly, from this cold, I then found out that I've got a trademark laughter -_-.

I was on the phone with one of the clients' family members. Although I introduced myself, but probably due to the fact that I was speaking too fast, she didn't catch my name. Later on in the convo, I laughed at something she said, and she went, "are you the one that I always speak to?" I went, "ermm, I think I am? Haha. Why?" And she went:

"I couldn't recognise u at first cuz your voice was so bad. But when you laughed, I immediately can recognise it. Your laughter very cute."

I burst out laughing can! That was so funny. I have never heard such comment about my laughter before. I took that as a compliment :). Hahah :D. At least I've developed this trademark laughter of mine over the years :D. Keke.

Oh wells :D.

Occupational hazards

2008-11-07T23:40:00.003+08:00

Nope, not self mutilation. Don't worry, I'm still quite sane :).

Sustained this from work from my client.

Considering the fact that I've been bitten, whacked and kicked before, such grab marks and scratch marks are considered mild.

Now Mr/Miss >.<, do you understand why we call these people "Monkey"?

Obviously its against my will to degrade these individuals to animals, but due to them being mentally incapacitated, they tend to do things like THESE to us. Obviously, I don't bear any grudge cuz they probably didn't even know they did those things. But please allow us to at least vent some frustrations on what I call a personal space of mine ;)

These are only the physical aspects.. I have not counted in those emotional hazards!

That's why, I shall from now on call ourselves, SUPERWOMEN :).

Morning prayer mtg :)

2008-11-04T18:51:00.003+08:00

Packed packed packed!

I'm just so glad that I went for it. Its simply AWESOME!

There were SOO many people, that we had to wait like 10mins just to take the lift (there were only 2 pathetic lifts!!) up to Heart of God church for the PM.

So needless to say, we were a little late. BUT. We got seats on the 2nd row in the MIDDLE! Its been so long since I last saw Pst Tan SO upclose :D.

That aside, the presence was just aweseome. Like what the bible says, when two or three are gathered in His name, there He'll be in our midst. There's definitely more than 2 or 3s in the place, praying and interceeding, I guess God have no choice not to come! :)

I went for PM mainly for 2 things, breakthrough in my own life and cg multiplication!

As I was praying for cg, I was led to this verse:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified."
Romans 8:28-30

Just the day before, Yvonne asked me after I told her Adam may have to leave Sg to study overseas, "Cin, we're called right? What is happening?"

I couldn't answer her. Were we really called? If we are, why is our attendance fluctuating like that? And people are leaving for overseas.. What's missing?

I was unsure about the calling part. But I just felt that we need to pray. Suddenly I realised that we haven't been praying alot. So I told her that we need to hold a PM. And I also decide that this week, I should go down for morning prayer meet as much as I can.

Just the first morning and God confirmed it! Yes, we're indeed CALLED to his purpose! And the best part, all things are gonna work! :) I'm really believing for cg multiplication soon! :) Go go go N262!!!

As for personal life, Yvonne smsed me a verse the moment I found a seat in the place:

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."
Romans 8:37

I already felt strength welling up as I read that :). Then as I prayed, I just felt fresh new anointing once again. And it was this very de javu experience. I was redirected to when I first made the decision to be serious for God back in Hollywood days. And many flashbacks came. Then God spoke, "Redirect your focus to me. Serve me with the kind of faith that you had back then."

I realised I've been drifting away by doing things in MY way rather in God's way. Yes, the things I do may be "politically right", but may not be GODLY right. God is just so good. Even when I was faithless, He remained faithful :). Yes, I'm SOO gonna redirect my focus on God once again. I'm a little worried that I'm unable to do it cuz of my job, but I'm still gonna try my best and try God's best ;).

Looking forward to the rest of the week! :)

Crushed.

2008-11-02T14:41:00.003+08:00

Was quite a bad day yesterday..

A SMS of concern to a member who wasn't doing well was perceived as a threat. I was being blasted by his uncle VERY badly. I wasn't even given a chance to speak up for "we have to be submissive to elders." Well I do not deny the fact that he's a lil' flaky... But sighs.. What have I done?

I took what he said a lil' too seriously. I thought hard, am I really not fit to be a leader like what he said? Not only about what he said, on the other hand I was still very concern over my member cuz I wasn't given a chance to even speak to him AT ALL. I don't even know what happened to him. Later on I got a lil' disappointed by him for doing what he did..

I was so crushed, my tap just kept running and running. I can't even attend prayer mtg in peace. Was so tied down by that whole incident that I just stepped out, went to the toilet and cried my hearts out..

Then God reminded me of this verse:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

This was a verse that He used to encourage me when I was sec 2, when things are simply not going in the way I expected it to be. And in the same way, God comforted me with this verse yesterday :).

Well, I took the verse and tried to remind myself abt His goodness. But the words of my member's uncle kept "haunting" me, and I simply can't help but to keep crying. Then God moved in the way of people :).

He sent my beloved boys who came and were showed so much concern :). Tim put his hands around my shoulders and told me its okay. Then JY tapped on his shoulders, offering it for me to cry on. And Dennis went, "Who bully you? *cracks knuckles* I'm gonna scold them for you!". I felt so loved to know that my boys cared for me so much :). Yvonne also gave me a hug and encouraged me, saying, "If they reject your church, they'll reject you. Stay strong." Even Johnson asked how was I. Really felt nice to know people are concerned :).

During worship, the words came back again somehow, and I can't help but to cry again (my tap is loose man -_-). Then God spoke, "this is how it's gonna be. Are you up for the call?" It was so painful. But I told God, "I'll do it as long as u're with me and as long as this is your calling for me." Then I felt the peace of God, and the rest of the day was simply pleasant and fun :).

Ahh, God is good isn't it? :). I just love God.

I just pray right now that my member is okay. Heard from his bro that he's home and asleep. Aye. Pray, pray..

I told my sister about what happened this morning, my sis was like, "he can use his uncle, tell him, you can use your sister!" and my sister was like scolding the whole morning, feeling injustice for me. Hahaha. Super cute. But anw I told her I'll handle it myself. Just thank God for her concern. :)

Really thankful that I've got so many people around me who're concerned over my well-being. Cuz of my job and my role in church, I'm always the one who's bothered over the lives of people. Suddenly this surge of people being so concerned abt ME, a bit not used to it :D. But I'm enjoying every bit of it, and I really thank God for it man :).

Of cuz, through this incidence, I also learnt to mind my words. I mean although after telling a few people and they felt that I didn't mean any threat, but I feel that as long as one person perceive it this way, it probably meant that I have to rephrase my words in future. As to how, I don't know. God's wisdom and knowledge! :)

GOD IS GOOD!!! :) :)

Busy busy week (:

2008-10-28T17:20:00.004+08:00

I realised that I last blogged during the audit week! :D.

Anw good news is, audit is OVER, and I wasn't audited. PTL! :). It was supposed to be auditing MY case, but eventually the auditors asked for yet another case to be audited, so my colleague went. But whatever it is, we passed the audit! Really thank God la, been praying hard for us to pass. If not our hard work all go down the drain man!

So post audit was...

1. Cell group :)
2. D&D :)
3. Post D&D partying! Woohoo! Rocks!
4. Church for svc after D&D and post D&D party. But svc was awesome enough to keep me awake!
5. Start of a sleepy night shift, chasing all the monkeys up and down. Aye.

Doesn't really looked busy, but I was really occupied :D. But I love to spend my time with things to do. I believe we have only one life to live, I nv really liked the idea of staying at home for too long :).

But of cuz, that left me rather physically drained, esp on Sun. But I love this:

"Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26

Jiayou Cincinnati! 3 more nights to go! (And one more round of 4 night shifts 1 week later. Grrr.) God is the strength! :)

On a lighter note, Asia conference is coming!!! :)

So exciting! Whee :)

(You know, I really dunno what I'm blogging anymore. Post night-shift "hangover". Haha =x)

Coffee Drinking May Help Protect Against Type 2 Diabetes

2008-10-22T23:14:00.004+08:00

October 9, 2008 — Regular consumption of coffee and potentially black tea, but not green tea, is associated with a lower risk for type 2 diabetes mellitus in Singaporean Chinese men and women, according to the results of a study reported in the October issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

"Increasing coffee intake was inversely associated with risk of type 2 diabetes in populations of European descent; however, data from high-risk Asian populations are lacking as are data on tea intake in general," write Andrew O. Odegaard, from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, and colleagues. "We investigated the prospective associations between intakes of coffee, black tea, and green tea with the risk of type 2 diabetes in Singaporean Chinese men and women."

The study cohort, from the Singapore Chinese Health Study, consisted of 36,908 men and women aged 45 to 74 years between 1993 and 1998, who underwent evaluation of multiple diet and lifestyle measures and who were then followed up between 1999 and 2004. To examine the association of baseline coffee and tea intakes with incident type 2 diabetes during follow-up, the investigators used Cox regression models, with adjustment for several possible confounding or mediating variables.

Compared with participants who reported not drinking coffee daily, those who reported drinking 4 or more cups of coffee daily had a 30% reduction in the risk for diabetes (relative risk [RR], 0.70; 95% confidence interval [CI], 0.53 - 0.93). Compared with participants who reported not drinking black tea daily, those who reported drinking 1 or more cups of black tea daily had a suggestive 14% reduction in the risk for diabetes (RR, 0.86; 95% CI, 0.74 - 1.00). There was no apparent association with green tea.

"Regular consumption of coffee and potentially black tea, but not green tea, is associated with lower risk of type 2 diabetes in Asian men and women in Singapore," the study authors write.

Limitations of this study include potential misclassification of the exposures because of poor self-report, biases, and other errors; possible residual confounding; and results for black and green tea consumption applying only to a smaller range of intake vs coffee.

"The associations we observed are noteworthy because they provide evidence that the coffee findings in other prospective cohort studies are not likely artifacts of the reported dietary patterns, nor are they likely to be explained by residual confounding," the study authors conclude. "Given the high consumption of coffee and tea worldwide and the growing type 2 diabetes epidemic, especially in Asia, these findings convey a potential high significance for public health. However, it is too early to recommend increasing coffee and tea consumption until there is more thorough data from clinical trials related to the topic, with respect to not only the possible benefits but possible side effects or harm as well."

The National Cancer Institute supported this study. The study authors have disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

Source from: Medscape Medical News, "Coffee Drinking May Help Protect Against Type 2 Diabetes", Oct 9, 2008

Comment #1: As opposed to a blog entry posted in my old blog about an article I read about in Emedicine.com of this case study whereby this man had an AF due to overcomsumption of coffee (and other factors), this is really pretty interesting and quite shocking to me, in fact. I've cut down on my coffee intake as a result of the previous article (from about 3-4 daily to now 1-2 daily). Best part, 1-4 cups! 4 cups is alot!

Anw the case study I read about was on a Caucasian, so maybe that marks the difference?

Comment #2: I thought green tea will be THAT factor that will reduce the risk of DM more directly. Interestingly, it's the complete opposite!

Comment #3: This is from a rather reliable source, and the research was done on SINGAPOREANS. So, it should work? *raises eyebrows*

Comment #4: I'm rather interested to know the effect coffee has on the pancreas or any part of the body that led to its reduced risk for DM. Quite cool huh?

I think I just gave Yvonne more reason to drink coffee. Aye!!

STRESSSSSSS..

2008-10-17T22:48:00.003+08:00

Felt like I'm having some prematured mid-life crisis..

Have been feeling this burden, this big fat stress that's weighing me down. This weight that's crushing my hopes, my dreams, my joy and everything nice.

I've been totally stressed out by all that's happening in my workplace and all. Seriously, even on leave, I'm receiving emails upon emails about the changes that are happening in my workplace DAILY. I can't believe how much my workplace has changed just over the span of mere 2 weeks.

The fact is that Monday I'll have to return to this workplace of mine with a brand new routine to start with, and many new things that has changed over the 2 weeks.

Returned to my workplace on Wed to be horrified by how everyone is rushing to get things done cuz of the change of routine. Something that was usually being done at 1pm is now being done at 3pm. Its 2 hours late! Everyone is trying to catch up.

So on Monday, I have to deal with the new routine, PLUS the audit. And this week, I still have to read up on all the policies that has been changing again and again. Can u imagine, 1 policy can have like 3 changes in 2 weeks alone -_- And I was totally unaware. I hate the feeling of not being in control.

Met up with LBB on Thurs, am totally glad that at least we have ONE person who can understand what we're going through. Really need more of such sympathetic people around. I think we'll have a better working life..

I feel, unless u come to take a look at how we work, you will never understand how much we go through, cuz to everyone, my occupation is so menial. But if you really work in MY workplace, you will understand why we're making a big fuss. Its not just dealing with clients and their family, but its dealing with the SUPERVISORS and the top top TOP people :(.

Yes, you can say in every job its like that. But ever been in such a state whereby everyday you have to stay back, but you don't have the right to ask for OT pay. Even paying back of hours, no, no rights. You do things that are not within your job description, YET you still have to do, cuz the supervisor says so. Before confirmation, probation was constantly used as a threat to make us work. After confirmation, counselling and appraisals were constantly used as threats to make us work. Every single day so long as supervisors are on duty, you get to drink some verbal coffee in her office. Morale? Since when this thing ever exist in my occupation?

As if work stress is not enough, I still have to deal with my boys who are having O levels, and the numbers that never seem to be growing. Plus upcoming outreach events, planning for more more MORE.

I really can't cope anymore. And I'm ON LEAVE. I can't imagine when I start work. I think at this rate I move on, I'll be choked by all these stressors soon.

Heard of "chronic fatigue symptom"?

Today during cg, Estelle shared about Joshua and how God always encourages him to be strong and courageous. I felt blessed by the word, really. But I'm not sure how long more can I be strong and courageous. Battery flat alr la :(

God, help me to fight the good fight of faith!

I HATE AUDITS

2008-10-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday as I was enjoying the last few moments of my leave in front of my com, I received some emails from my senior regarding the audit that's coming up and driving everyone crazy.

Suddenly I remember, oh ya, audit is coming. Lemme just be a good girl and read through the updates, at least when I return to work, I can answer questions when my supervisor ask me.

I was still in the happy dreamland of mine, until I stretch out and got my hands on my roster, and man. I've never felt so horrified before.

After 2 weeks of leave, my first day of work will be AUDIT DAY.

And I'm scheduled to work a PM shift, and the auditors are coming in the AFTERNOON.

Hur. Hur hur.

I don't know how I'm gonna die.

I stared hard at that thick stack of notes, policies, updates and random nonsense that was left unread since the start of my AL, I've never felt as exasperated before in my entire life.

Today I caught up with the dearest poly girlfriend of mine, WC (:D) at Suki Sushi. Enjoyed a scrumptious (is there such a word? But this word looks yummy to me) sushi buffet, and window shopped for my D&D dress. Had lots of fun, laughter and everything nice just by meeting her up. Held her hands and walked around just like how we did during poly days. Man, I really miss school days man :(.

After we parted, I attempted to avoid the reality, but this devilish voice went, "AUDIT is coming. AUDIT is coming. AUDIT is coming..." and I have no choice but to whipppp out the thick stack of notes that I psycho-ed myself to bring out, and studied studiously in the train like some nerd. AHHH!

I HATE IT!!!!

I better be able to answer all the questions. How about, audit better hurry end, so that this nightmare can end too!

*Clasps hands together*
Lord, I pray that the auditors will...

Step on a banana skin and fall.
Ate something wrong and get gastroenteritis.
Met with some car accident and have to settle all the nonsense so can't come.
Got up from the wrong side of bed and get a bad neck.
Met Doraemon on the way and somehow disappear into Jurassic times.
Accidentally made their way to the wrong workplace.
Accidentally drive into the bermuda triangle.
Saw great singapore sale selling LV/prada for 10bucks and decide to shop instead!
Met fairy godmother and turn them into a mouse.
Decide that "its enough!" and tender resignation.
or.. or...

WHATEVER THAT WILL MAKE THEM DISAPPEAR!!

God, forgive me for being evil :(.

ARGH! See, its driving me CRAZY!! >_<..!!

What?!

2008-10-11T01:21:00.004+08:00

Familiar tag that we see on buses right? But can somebody tell me what are those 2 oval things that I circled in red??

Saw this after cg on bus 55, have been trying to figure it out with the boys, but really, we dunno what is it....

Count your blessings :)

2008-10-10T01:07:00.003+08:00

Such Godly-coincidence that I have to read about the story of Jeremy Taylor on Daily Bread on my Facebook after complaining on my previous post. Haha :D. I love this quote from this Oathman guy:

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost;
Count your many blessings - name them one by one.
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Nice :).

Busy-ness of life.

2008-10-09T23:54:00.003+08:00

2 parts to my blog entry, with regards to "busy-ness".

Firstly, its been quite an occupied week. I went out again ytd!

Went to watch Mama Mia with Yan and chicKEN (:D). It was SOOO awesome! Not only was the company awesome, the show is WONDERFUL!!! I've always loved watching musical movies (if there's such a genre)! And this is simply great. I love the songs, love the dance, love the humour, love the story, love everything!!

The only glitch was that towards the end of the show the projector or whatever that is screwed up, and it ended abruptly. After some jeering, it came back again. But the show was too captivating that nobody bothered about the glitch anymore. Haha :D

Rushed to Clarke Quay, caught up with "Jack" again ytd, and this time she brought along 2 other friends, and we went to visit The Clinic at Clarke Quay, after hearing so much about it :)

Basically the theme of this place is simply HOSPITAL. The staff were in scrubs and the seats were gold-painted wheelchairs and all. Pretty interesting.

We ordered the signature drinks, namely Nurses' X party and Sex on a drip. Just a mixture of vodka and some random fruit concoctions.

Nurses' X party. Served in 6 syringes in a bucket of ice, like this:

Yepps. Felt pretty cheated cuz they only filled 30mls of the 50mls syringe. Argh. Should fill it to the max!

Sex on a drip. Looks quite mucky in green but its actually a very sweet drink. Haha.

And I was quite horrified to see that its serve in a REAL drip set. I was expecting some special drip set that is specially made for the pub for drinking purpose (Think camelbak). But anw, was quite an experience.

That 2 drinks cost us a whooooping $107.00 (50bucks per drink, plus GST). But for the ambience and the fun of it, its, er, worth it (I suppose). But once is enough. And next time I'll be smarter to order something cheaper, like beer.

Alright, busy-ness part 2. Here goes.

Ytd I was talking to LBB, and he totally irked me to the core (sorry LBB, didn't tell u that :D. But u got me thinking!!) by his "I don't like to keep rushing.." thing. I was quite irritated by it actually, cuz I thought he was prolly going through some prematured mid-life crisis...

But anw, funnily, after the convo with him ytd, today was a day that I rushed like mad. I went to my workplace to settle some documents, then went home, and rushed to swim before it rained, and rushed my swimming session as I'm supposed to meet Mantoonmee at PS for dinner, then rushed to shower, rushed to MRT station, rushed to PS.....

So I was walking at TOP speed at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station, I just went, ARGH. I really hate to rush. Then I thought back to LBB's I-don't-like-to-rush thingy, and then I felt God saying, "Isn't this what makes ur life exciting?" (God is quite cool eh? :D)

I looked back in life, I realised truly, I've been rushing all my life doing things. Alright, I admit there're just times when I wished that I don't have to rush. But then again, the fact that I have to rush actually do mean that I have things to do. I'm occupied. And I'm definitely making the best out of the little time that God has placed in my hands.

So on the escalator, I suddenly felt this joy and contentment. Yes, rushing can be such a chore sometimes. It sends all the adrenaline pumping, u start having palpitations, flushing and all the sympathetic responses. (Alright, I'm kinda exaggerating.) But looking at it in another point of view, I shall learn to see this as a blessing because God has given me friends, work, church, and a whole lot of worthwhile things to rush for. (Even if it means rushing to meet my supervisor to get a scolding, still, it goes to show, er, my supervisor cares enough to scold me! HAHA :D)

Food for thought eh? :) At least for me, it is!

Gift of God :)

2008-10-08T02:16:00.002+08:00

"As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God."
Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NKJV)

"And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God. "
Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NLT)

Lets receive from God!! :)

Eventful week.

2008-10-06T02:23:00.002+08:00

Its been yet, another long and eventful week..

I don't wish to input too much, its too personal. More can be read from my private blog, which, is not opened to anyone (yet), as of now. Haha.

In a nutshell, basically the eventful things are from:

Work.
Relationship which turned sour. (sighs)
Cg.
Friends' problems (which I'm glad to be of help :))
Layy being away throughout my whole AL :(. Sighs. And I only realised when she left!! Sobs.

Of course, I won't rule out the fun things that happened, like:

AL! :) Its AFS man!
Outing with my "Jack" (its a she, btw. She's happily attached anw! :D)
Many outings with Mantoonmee, and having alot of fun :):)
A more bonded cg tt's more concerned with friends. Amen :).
Encouragements from God!
Outing with the pastamania gang (Photos to be up when I get it from Jo :))
Ogling at my soon-to-get Kohjinsha laptop. Hehe :)

Sexy.

Yepps, eventful week I had. Have been stressed out by work, as usual. Hope I'll have a good break. May be outta town for a while, so don't be alarmed if u can't reach me :).

Philippians 4:6-7

2008-10-01T16:28:00.003+08:00

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philppians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

Christians, found this verse familiar? This is a verse that accompanied me through many examinations and many wind wind rain rain (风风雨雨) :D. I literally grew up with this verse, after John 3:16 :)

I was thinking of a verse to bless this special group of people in my life (cannot say which group! Or else my intended "surprise" is gone!) Its been bugging my mind for the past few weeks already. I've got the gift, just need the verse!

So today I typed "Peace of mind" in Biblegateway.com, and I was led to verse 7. I read and I was like, okay. Familiar verse. So I keyed in "The Message" bible version, and this came out:

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

I was like, WOW! This is such a familiar verse to us all, but look at the way its being rephrased in the Message bible :)

I felt peaceful already, just by reading that. Hehe :)

God is awesome. My God IS very very awesome! Amen :).

If God is a human, I'll jump on Him and give Him a tight squeeze now :).

Alternative headache therapies

2008-09-30T00:59:00.004+08:00

I was actually reading up some medical articles and I chanced on this article on Prevention and Treatment of Migraines in Adolescents. I took down a few interesting non-pharmacological treatments that the author suggested. Mind you, this is from a reliable medical source! :D

TigerBalm Ointment (Haw Par Healthcare Limited, Singapore).

"This fragrant ointment is typically used to treat sore muscles. In a randomized trial of adult headache sufferers, applying the ointment to neck muscles helped relieve headache more effectively than placebo ointment; it worked about as well as acetaminophen to relieve tension headache pain. It is very safe but should not be used in or near the eyes (it stings). "

Not bad, our Tiger Balm made its way to the Western countries and is recommended! :D Maybe can really try applying Tiger Balm on our necks when we have headaches eh?

Guided Imagery and Self-hypnosis.

"Learning self-hypnosis or guided imagery relaxation skills is very effective in preventing migraine headaches. In fact, one study suggested that hypnosis is more effective than taking beta-blocking medications in preventing migraine headaches. Healthcare providers can learn to provide hypnosis training themselves through workshops sponsored by the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis or the Society for Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. Clinicians may also refer patients to psychologists, social workers, or other health professionals skilled in teaching these techniques. "

I wonder if I can call this "self-delusion" Brings me to the next treatment intervention recommended:

Autogenic Training.

"Autogenic training is a self-hypnosis technique developed by the German psychiatrist Johannes Schultz in 1932. The training consists of learning to repeat a set series of phrases such as: "My arms and hands are heavy and warm; my legs are heavy and warm; my heartbeat is calm and regular; my forehead is cool; my breathing is easy." Typically, each phrase is slowly repeated 3 times before going to the next phrase. Deceptively simple, this practice has proven effective in reducing the frequency and severity of migraine headaches. Ancillary benefits include improvements in mood, cognitive function, and quality of life. "

This is super funny can!!! :D Goodness.

Interesting :D. If you tried any of these and it works, pls tell me :D

Night duties..

2008-09-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

As you can tell from my previous posts, my job is one that requires shift work. So obviously I'll need to work night shift.

PTL, I've completed yet another round of 3 night duties!! Phew :D.

As my workplace is undergoing renovation, its really very taxing for the past 3 nights. Every night the layout of my workplace is different. My last night I had to walk up and down as the middle section is undergoing renovation -_-. Grrr.

Thank God, it's been quite an uneventful night shift :). Its, in fact, very free. Due to the renovation works, we're rather limited, so can't do much. Basically, I finished most of my routine 1hour before time. We were so bored that we kept eating. Even ordered Macs :D. Hehe :). Really gotta munch to keep ourselves awake man.

Oh wells.

Enough of boring work happenings.

-----

I'm rather appalled by how man (alright, I shall not generalise, but if u think u fit into this category, please do something about it) works. Have been having enough of men intriguing me like that. Hahaha.

Example 1: "Lets meet up soon alright?"

Then when I initiated the meetup.....

"Not free."
"Girlfriend."
"Family."
"Gotta work early tmr."
"Tired from work."

I never realised how much of a pest that is. I was once like that. I shall never be someone like that anymore.

If you can't meet me, just say you're busy for now. Don't try to make me happy by saying, "we gotta meet up soon!" so excitedly and the soon never come.

Example 2: When something happens, he wants to appease the person (alright, I'm THAT person -_-).

Told another friend.
Another friend have to come and tell me that he wants to meet.
Waited, no calls, no sms, no apologies.
Suddenly morning, my friend told me that he told me to join them for breakfast.
Tagged along.
Sat at back seat like a complete stranger.
By then I was too angry to enjoy breakfast even. Sulked the entire breakfast, went home and slept.

HOW TO APPEASE LIKE THAT?!

Example 3: The Girlfriend Law.

Previously lots of fun hanging out.
Then suddenly with the addition of girlfriend, things change.

I've got no qualms about that. I wouldn't like my boyfriend to hang out with other girls all the time also (no, I'm not possessive.).

BUT. You don't SUDDENLY:
Disappear into thin air
Act very coldly with no rhyme or reason
or keep pushing me away without telling me why.

If your girlfriend is not happy with you hanging out with me, just tell me. I'm not an unreasonable person please.

Anyways I'm not the type of person who will want ur undivided attention when I know you're attached. But in my opinion, it doesn't mean that being attached means u gotta cut off ties with other people of opposite gender. Can't we meet up for a cuppa coffee to catch up?!

That's but only part one of the GF law.

Part 2 --> When girlfriend got angry and nasty, or things are on the verge of turning ugly, you SUDDENLY resurface after some time of magical disappearing act. Excuse me, I'm not some counselling machine that you can find anywhere along the streets.

Part 3 --> I was nice to want to help, so I did. And there was a happy ending to your relationship. THEN here comes the magical disappearing act again.

*Shakes head in disbelief*

I wonder what's in the mind of MAN. Anyways the above mentioned examples are all on different people. Not just one okay!

Alright, enough of venting frustrations. I think I can have a good sleep tonight :)

LA LEH LOR HOR.

2008-09-24T22:15:00.002+08:00

I was finally given my appraisal yesterday :).

Actually I was called into supervisors' room. I thought I'll get scolded as something bad happened the night before. Thank God it was just my appraisal.

And after my appraisal, I've decided, I MUST CUT DOWN ON MY SINGLISH!! >_<..!

The minus point of staying in Singapore, you tend to la, leh, lor, hor etc alot.

I should have learnt from BREASTFRIEND long ago to cut down. Now I must wait for a C grade appraisal before I decide. Like a bit late la. (Oh crap! I just la-ed!)

So, I permit everyone of you to give me a tight slap (please be gentle..) if you hear me using any of those. I gotta cut down! At least cut down enough that people will not comment to my supervisor that I'm not professional. Sighs.

(:

2008-09-20T00:11:00.005+08:00

I think the Lord is really great.

Seriously last night I couldn't sleep the entire night cuz of everything that happened (not just the feedbacks). Hardly caught a wink, and before I knew it, it was time to get up for work.

So on my way to work I kept praying for strength and joy, that I'll be less demoralised by everything that happened. The Lord showed my Psalm 71. I mean many parts apply to me alot, (except the gray-headed part! :D), and I felt so encouraged :)

And I was all ready to work (though I was still physically sleepy)!

So the day went on well, and it was almost time for handover when my supervisor came and said that she wants to speak to all of us, and will be asking questions regarding the audit (again!). She even asked me to stay back to do cleaning despite telling her I had to go church. Grrr..

But anw, she started asking questions. Then I realised she's asking from a set of notes that one of my seniors emailed to me 2 days ago and I read everything through so I know the answers ;). So when she asked, I could answer everything properly. She was quite pleased with me eventually, so she let me go off without doing cleaning! :). Ptl :)

So yepps, managed to rush in time for svc. Then fellowship at MS Xin Wang, then home.

I'm seriously tired now, but testimonies are meant to be shared, so I came online to tell about God's goodness! Hehe :).

Lord pls pass me pass me PASS MY PROBATION!! :S

Demoralized...

2008-09-20T00:11:00.004+08:00

Today is a demoralizing day.

Was being asked into my supervisor's office for a talk. I was given my feedback regarding my probation as its coming to an end. She said:

My probation may be extended.
The feedback abt me from the ground is not good.
I didn't help around and I was only doing my own work.
I'm defensive, the way I speak portray the image of me being defensive.
I'm only "okay." when asked around about my performance.
I'm too giggly and not professional.

I tell you, apart from the last feedback which was quite true, I was very taken aback by the comment. So taken aback, that when she asked, "do you have anything to say?", I couldn't answer her at all. I was flabbergasted by that surge of bad feedbacks..

Eventually I mustered my strength and told her how I felt and all, I couldn't take it and I cried. I guess (I hope) she realised I've been trying really hard alr cuz its not the first time I'm being called in to talk. She just patted me on my shoulder and asked me don't cry, that she was just kidding abt the extending of probation and asked me to go back to work.

Sighs.

Firstly, nobody has ever feedback to me that I never helped. In fact, I DO help, for nuts! When my side is lighter, I do junior work also! Unless I'm really busy, if not I'll help one lor... I feel that if u think I don't help you, u come and tell me straight. Why must u escalate to the supervisor level? And the best part, when my probation is coming to an end.. Why must u jeopardize my probation like that?

Secondly, I've already toned down on my defensive nature. Learnt it the hard way, very very hard way. People who knew me would have known how many moments I cried just because of the kind of trouble I get from being defensive. Seems like ytd I accidentally said something that upset my another supervisor, plus another day when I tried to clarify a certain issue to a senior staff and she got upset, and now I'm being deemed, "defensive".

Thirdly, I didn't know "okay" is a bad feedback. Sighs...

I tell you, for the whole shift I couldn't work. Somemore I was being turned down by a colleague (whom I've been trying to get to know as a friend) when I asked him out to visit a client. First an outright embarrassment, then an outright disappointment...

God, why did such thing happen to me? Am I THAT lousy? I know I'm not there yet, but is my interpersonal skills THAT bad? I really couldn't believe it.

I'm only glad that somehow somewhat I've got people around to hear me out. My seniors were there to assure me that I'm not that bad. I guess that's enough. Now most importantly is that I want to pass my probation.... I really don't want to fail. Sighs...

Gather my strength and return to work.

I really wish I could remove that mask of mine and display who I really am. Why must I be the someone whom I'm not? I love to smile. But now my smiles are getting more and more fake by the day...

Lucky.

2008-09-17T23:52:00.003+08:00

Lucky
Jason Mraz ft' Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Hooked on this song. Though everyone who knows me will know I don't believe in luck (but sometimes I can be a bit "over" when it comes to workplace superstitions :D), but still, I love this song. And I felt a teeny weeny bit of "lucky", to know that I have good friends in my workplace despite the ugliness of them all :).

I love all of you!!

Photos from ytd. :)Kbox will not find someone with bigger mouth than mine.

To protect the identity of Mantoonmee, here goes. HAHA :D.

Sister after her haircut. Hehe :)

That's all for today!

December babies

2008-09-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

Today, upon reaching my workplace (I'm not gonna talk about the impromptu audit that took place at the middle of the staircase while walking to work.), one of the girls, EL, a student who's doing her internship came and told me something rather interesting and cute :).

She asked, "hey Cincinnati, are u a December baby?"

I was, of cuz, surprised. I don't know her really well at all, how did she know my birthday? But I replied, "yepps! How did u know?"

So she went, "Oh cuz E (her instructor) commented that I'm very vocal, just like you. So I told her, 'of cuz! December babies are all vocal!', so I thought I'll ask u."

And the best part, we compared how we used to be like and how we are now, I spotted much resemblence!! :).

Due to our outspoken nature, we were very loud and noisy, especially when we were younger. But we mellowed down when we became older. And also because of that nature in us, we tend to force people to do things that we like so that we can be happy. I was like that in the past, just like her! But we both mellowed down when we grew up.

I find it quite interesting. I never quite knew that of December babies!

Then I thought through, its quite true. Like so far most of the December babies I know are quite vocal to a certain extent. Is it really true? Sets me thinking.. :).

Anw. Today I took some left over laxatives (don't ask me why I took them). And I realise it didn't work on me. Hmm. My tummy is gone case alr la.

I'm supposed to post photos of what I did ytd during my day off with my beloved Mantoonmee, but I'm quite lazy to do that now. Maybe another day. But the jeeze of it all:

- Lunch from 1.30pm to 2.30pm
- KBox from 2.30pm to 6.15pm.
- KFC from 6.25pm to 6.40pm.
- "Money Not Enough II" from 6.45pm to 9pm.
- Camwhoring on the train till home :).

I love my Mantoonmee. Hehe. And I worked with her today! So fun :D. Laugh and laugh. Gossip about S, gossip about LY. HAHAHA. So fun :).

To be a WOMAN.

2008-09-11T22:49:00.003+08:00

Just something random since nothing special went on today except some cuteness explosion in my workplace between 2 clients. Hehe :).

Few days ago I was peeing in my house toilet bowl (like duh). As usual I just put down the toilet seat. Actually I didn't have that habit until recent years. I can't quite understand why I need a toilet seat now despite the fact that obviously, my butt has definitely grew bigger over the years. Must be the influence of my sis la.

But ANYWAYS, that's besides the point.

So I was peeing and I came out without putting the lid back up. Mom went in, saw it and she screamed....

"Use finish also nv put up toilet seat. Next time how to live with your husband?!"

Sighs. What on earth is that man!?

Stupid la. Next time my house I'll put a URINAL. Bleah. No toilet seats issues.

Physically drained, mentally joyful

2008-09-09T22:39:00.004+08:00

I slept less than 3 hours and have been on the go for the past 36hours (and still counting!)

Was working afternoon shift ytd, and was told that audit will be today! My gosh. I thought audit was Friday!

I panicked like mad. So last night, after a LONG afternoon shift (and got into a whole lot of laughter running in the rain and running after the bus that I nv get on, eventually..), I stayed up till 2am to study my policies and woke up early at 4.30am to prep for a new morning shift today..

And thankfully, THE AUDIT DIDN'T COME AGAIN :D!!!

Don't know to thank God or not, but somehow, I nv quite get to be audited! :D. They kept saying that the auditors are coming coming, even had a time (1pm), but eventually they didn't come during my shift :). Hehe. Thank God :D.

But that also meant that I wasted my energy last night! Grrr.

And after work today I still met up with the boys to settle some stuffs for cg. I just got home not long ago after settling the things + shopping. HAHA. I nv knew the boys are so nice to shop with, esp T :D. Not bad not bad :).

So, I'm gonna turn in early tonight! My body is giving way alr. I don't want to get myself into unnecessary health problems caused by fatigue!

The only thing I'm happy about is that at least I know I'm spending my time productively, doing important things :). That's why I say, physically drained, but mentally joyful :).

Truly, the spirit is always willing but the flesh will always be weak. God, give me strength! :)

Making the wrong move..

2008-09-07T21:04:00.004+08:00

Went for svc today. Powerful sermon! I never thought of having faith in myself in this manner before.

Pst was sharing about Peter walking on water and sank, and Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Very often we perceive that statement as Peter not having enough faith in Jesus tt's why he sank. But after Pst shared about the educational status of the Jews in the past, we finally realised that Jesus was asking Peter, why didn't he have faith in HIMSELF.

Jesus chose the 12 disciples cuz he had faith in them that these people will be the ones who will spread his yolk. Peter knows! Its more of him in a state of unbelief. "Am I up to it?"

That sounded so familiar. I realised I've been saying this to my superiors many times when they asked me to do things. "Huh! Cannot la.." I will often blurt that out without thinking.

Even for the presentation that ended on Wed. I've been whining and say, "Huh, cannot la. Please..." But still, thank God for His strength, I went ahead, and in fact, I shared about "why and why not?" (quite an irony eh?), and many said I did very well for my presentation. In fact my superior had wanted me to head for yet another presentation but due to time constraint, it was called off.

I realise very often we deem ourselves as inadequate even before we do anything. Like what I shared during our presentation, cuz we are afraid that we will make the wrong move. "What if I make a blunder?" "What if I can't do it?" "I'm not up to it.."

Today I managed to catch up with a friend whom I haven't met for months. He was telling me about friends of his batch getting married. And he was apprehensive about marriage cuz his relationship seems stagnant. Turns out that he felt that its kinda a standstill, he wanted to let go, but the girl didn't want to cuz they've been together for too long (7yrs!). So they've been carrying on this whole thing.

So I just told him, since he wants to carry on then get married la. Both are of age, both are together for 7 yrs, what's the problem now? He said, "I don't want to make the wrong move la. Its a big decision you know."

So, if being afraid to make the wrong move is hindering you from moving on, then u should really consider ur move isn't it? Are u not having enough faith in this relationship that's why u're worried that u'll make the wrong move?

It sets me thinking the entire day about this this fear of "making the wrong move".

After today's message, now, to me, I thank God for God, I know that God has all his plans ready for me (Jer 29:11). Everything that could happen will have a reason, whether good or bad. I know ultimately its for a better future :) He has all the faith in me! So I hand everything to Daddy to settle. For my part, I will make a decision to CHIONG AR! Gotta learn to have more faith in myself man. Its a weak point that I need to overcome. My own sense of inadequacy.

My chains are gone, I've been set free!
My Lord my saviour has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy reigns.
Unending love, amazing grace! (AMEN!)

No food and drink!

2008-09-07T00:53:00.003+08:00

Its been so long since I last packed dinner to work and bring home the same pack of dinner -_-.

Today was so busy!

I didn't quite expect a Saturday afternoon shift to be this busy. Seriously I have no idea what I was really busy with. I guess on a Sat where everyone is not around, I spend more time looking for people on the phone to inform and running up and down, executing orders caused by all the abnormalities.

Ever since I really started working after my training, I've already learnt how to work better. Every afternoon shift, no matter how busy, I'll some how have time to eat. I guess timing wise all the work came at the wrong time today. Grr..

The sudden surge of workload left me running around, panicking like a headless chicken.

I hope this will not happen again! And mind you, its a Saturday! I expected more rest on a Sat okay. This reflects badly on me la :(.

I speculate at this rate I carry on, I may just develop some gastrointestinal disorders. I should go see a doctor and get a steady supply of Omeprazoles or Famotidine as a preventive measure to protect my stomach eh?

The best preventive measure right now, SLEEP. :)

Beee Baaa Booo

2008-09-04T22:24:00.003+08:00

What a name..... -_-

Anw, if you can't read, its be3 ba1 pu2. HAHA :D

Its actually Big Bubble (the English name for this gum) :D

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen...."

2008-09-03T22:01:00.003+08:00

MY PRESENTATION IS FINALLY OVER!!! Phew! :).

Best part: CEO didn't turn up. Hehe :D.

The who's whos were still around, but at least the CEO wasn't there to bombard us with a whole load of questions.

So without the CEO, there was like only 2 questions! And a very nice, encouraging comment :)

Honestly speaking, my legs were trembling when I speak though I sounded machiam I'm very well prepared. My gosh. The crowd was much bigger than I expected, but really thanks to the girls who came down to show their support. I was looking at them throughout my whole presentation can. Just for "visual" support :D.

Thank God, at the very end of the presentation, the director of a certain department came forward and congratulated us for the good presentation. She said that we, even though we are still very new, took the guts and presented well. And man, I really felt good about it! :).

Alright, minus the part that my legs were really trembling like mad behind the stand, but all in all I was still quite pleased with my own performance (though I know I could do better). I sound odd in the mic la :S.

And yes, girls, we all did well!! Our hard work is paid off :)! Yayy!! :):):)

Oh, did I mention, I was down with a bad tummyache after the whole presentation. I wonder was it due to the fact that I actually forgot to go for break for the entire shift, or was it a PTSD (drama la! :D).

Loss.

2008-09-02T01:52:00.003+08:00

Just one day alone, I experienced 2 deaths. Both were uncalled for, very asymptomatic and rather sudden. Nobody quite expected it, and sighs, it was such a loss.

I can't say, "life is short" as both are people who lived a long ripe life. But I have to say, life can be so fragile. One moment I still see her sitting on the chair, next moment.....

Things always happen when you least expected them to, isn't it?

Sighs. God bless both of them. I said a short prayer for them when I left. Both families are prepared, but still, sudden. May all things be okay for them..

Alright, on a lighter note, my big presentation is on Wednesday, whereby all the bigbig shots and the who's whos will sit in. I'm NOT really prepared, but what to do right? :S. Haha. I'm only thankful its not an individual presentation.

So at 2am, I'm up to finish up the final touches of my presentation and do my "script" on handheld cards for that day. Pls pray for me!!

Appreciated (:

2008-08-31T23:30:00.004+08:00

Today I was actually dragging my feet to work. Afterall, its SUNDAY!! My SUNDAY :(.

BUT something put a smile on my face :)

THIS! :)

Well, this colleague is leaving for another place, so he bought some of these chocs and gave it to some of us. I was pretty surprised when I received it from my senior (I think he gave them out ytd but I was having my day off.). It was uncalled for, but it's certainly a pleasant surprise :).
Yes, it may be a small gift (but I think it's rather costly considering its ROYCE CHOCOLATE!! Mmmm!! :D), but its really the thought that counts. It just makes me feel very appreciated! :)

Alright, its not the first choc I receive for the week. Our dear friend B who came for internship gave me chocs on his last day too. BUT, what makes Alvin special was because I receive it on a Sunday. HAHAH. B, sorry ar, wrong day :D. But I appreciate your choc la ;). I'm savouring them one by one okay! Haha :D

Pretty pleasant for a WORKING Sunday afternoon, isn't it :).

Such little acts of appreciation can really bring joy to working, like really! :)

Have you been appreciating people around you lately? Time to start doing so! :).

Looking back..

2008-08-30T01:43:00.003+08:00

Today was a looong day, I was up since 4.30am in the morning and was home only at 11+pm after cg.

For some reason, I don't feel like sleeping. Felt this emptiness, had this urge to read my previous entries from my previous blog.

As I was reading, I felt so blessed.

Those who know me would have read my previous blog before, and know the kind of things that I went through for the past 4 months ever since I transitted to this new career.

I was reading, and realised how much I've grown. I'm not the same, O childish Cincinnati anymore, I've since grew up as a result of all these, no matter how bad they are.

And I realised, I'm able to cope so much better at work now. Previously I took it so hard whenever my supervisors scolds me. I often break down and cry many times after listening to those scoldings. I still remembered myself being so miserable after a comment made, and I cried while eating my dinner. For that 30mins while I was on break, I was sobbing.

But now, no longer am I that weak girl. I've emerged stronger from all the things I've went through :). I still cry when I'm hurt, but I've learnt how to wipe off those tears and move on.

The best part of them all, you'll love this :).

God was with me through EVERY SINGLE bad day that I went through :).

As I read, I saw so many ocassions whereby I'll hear the voice of God encouraging me, verses of encouragements or simply a loving touch from God. How awesome, isn't it?

"Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. "
Psalm 73:25-26

I felt so blessed to know that God has always been there, shaping and moulding me to be a better person through these trials. There was a short period of time when I was really bitter, really cynical with life. I never wanted to trust anyone anymore. He showed me,

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:17

There was a time when my dad got himself into some bad debts and my house was at risk of being auctioned (as he may have to declare bankruptcy), yet he was doing nothing about it. I remembered myself being very angry and bitter with him. I felt that my dad is leaving all the junk to us and he himself being very happy and still out drinking. Yet the reassuring voice of the Lord said, "I know how it feels to be forsaken by your own father", and was immediately led to the scene at Calvary.

There were times when I felt that I've lost myself in work. I became so bitter with everyone that I simply drown myself in work so that I can get everything done properly and prevent scoldings. I didn't felt like doing anything else, didn't felt like going anywhere. My fire died down, I became another person. But God reminded me of the verse that led me to nursing,

"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16

At every point, God was there, picking me up when I fall, lifting me up when I was down. I'm just thankful that I could be at where I am now.

2 months more and probation will be over (hopefully). It was only 4 months and I've been through so much, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (talk about transition phase man!), I'm sure there's more to learn. I'm only glad that these 4 months, I have Daddy God with me all the time. When people are hard to trust, God remains faithful. :)

" but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31

May this marks the start of a greater, stronger, joyful and better Cincinnati :). Glory to glory, amen? :)

Red Bull Drink Seen to Increase Stroke Risk

2008-08-30T00:35:00.003+08:00

"CANBERRA (Reuters) Aug 15 - Just one can of the popular stimulant energy drink Red Bull can increase the risk of MI or stroke, even in young people, Australian medical researchers said on Friday.

The caffeine-loaded beverage, popular with university students and adrenaline sport fans to give them "wings", increased blood viscosity.

Scott Willoughby and colleagues tested the cardiovascular systems of 30 young adults one hour before and one hour after consuming one 250-ml can of sugar-free Red Bull.

The results showed "normal people develop symptoms normally associated with cardiovascular disease" after consuming the drink, created in the 1980s by Austrian entrepreneur Dietrich Mateschitz based on a similar Thai energy drink.

"One hour after they drank Red Bull, (their blood systems) were no longer normal. They were abnormal like we would expect in a patient with cardiovascular disease," Willoughby, lead researcher from the Cardiovascular Research Centre at the Royal Adelaide Hospital, told the Australian newspaper."

"But Willoughby said Red Bull could be deadly when combined with stress or high blood pressure, impairing proper blood vessel function and possibly lifting the risk of blood clotting.

"If you have any predisposition to cardiovascular disease, I'd think twice about drinking it," he said ."

Read full article from eMedicine.com.

THANK GOD I NEVER LIKED RED BULL.

Then I suddenly wonder, am I predisposing my dad to AMI or stroke, since whenever he goes hypo, we'll feed him with redbull (he likes it, plus its reaally sweet and when he goes hypo, he goes REALLY hypo. Like 2.0-3.0.)

Goodness. Now I'll really think twice about drinking red bull. :S.

Inflexible people!! >_<

2008-08-29T16:56:00.003+08:00

I almost got a heart attack today at work.

Today I was settling some stuffs and I was calling my client's advocate. WAHHH. She was SOOOO inflexible?! Every "nononononono, cannot!!!" (and she repeated it for like 10 times!!) that she said, I felt myself burning. I was super angry and fuming mad can. It was really a waste of time which can be prevented if not for miscommunication. And, since it was miscommunication on our part, can't u be a little more flexible? Cut the "NONONONONO CANNOT!!" laaa..

Best part, she actually have the audacity to ask my client's family to pay. Finally I shot her back at how unfair it is if my client's family has to pay for a mistake that is not even his fault, she finally kept quiet.

The funny thing was, we were like silent on the phone for like 10 seconds. Machiam drama.

She finally (FINALLY!) decided to speak to her supervisor, and they PAID. Hurhur.

But anw, after the whole thing was settled, I started having some bad chest tightness. Man, it was so uncomfortable. It was super super tight, and I could feel some palpitations. I wasn't having any breathing difficulties, though, but my chest was really tight for about 10mins.

I'm just thankful I'm still alive, blogging about what happened. (HAHA. I'm feeling more and more wayang man :D!)

I think I stress myself out too much at the slightest things sometimes.

I'm such a type A personality person, and someday I may just collapse in my workplace. Grr.

EVERYONE, please learn ur CPR ar. Hahah :D. You may be my "benefactor" in future :D. Keke.

Time for a break. Gotta rest my sore legs :)

BREAST friend outing :)

2008-08-27T23:34:00.004+08:00

Today is my hard-earned AFS day off.

BUT.

I had to return to my workplace to hand in some documents (read: Love-hate relationship). AND, E2, being on leave, will only be back at 3.30pm for the department meeting. i.e. I have to sit in for the department meeting, and hand in those documents after that.

Grrr.

So I guai guai sat in for departmental meeting, got scolded cuz both Es felt I was playful and disruptive (I was just offering tissue what...), then handed in my documents, and left only at 5.20pm.

Like what B said, I should have just clocked today as a work day and took an extra day off. Grr :(

ANW.

Met up with BREASTFRIEND. LIKE FINALLY!!! :).

Ate the famous-but-not-so-fantastic white lor mee, walked to Bugis and had NYDC for dessert, walked around Bugis street looking for random clothes, bags, shades and
eventually, I came home with a big bag of seaweed. Hurhur.

Didn't take many photos, but BREASTFRIEND requested not to have her face appearing, so she edited the pic and censored her face. Grrr..

Introducing, my BREASTFRIEND!!! :):):)

Er, ignore those spects on me. I was forced to wear them. :S.

Such great catching up session. I really enjoyed myself. Though we were walking around looking for clothes, but the catch up session was really awesome. Breastfriend 就是 breastfriend. So long nv meet, we still have got never-ending things to talk about. Hehe :)

Must meet up more hor! :D

Why hide?

2008-08-26T00:52:00.002+08:00

Today I was sitting on the bus, pondering over some stuffs.

I suddenly realise, why I am hiding my identity in this blog? HAHA. There seem to be no point, since this is fresh new beginning for myself :).

Wells. In time to come, I'll put up more photos of myself la :).

Like now, especially after I've gotten my new spects ;)!

Matching right! :D. My tofu!! Girls, remember ur birthday present for me?? :D Hehe.

Our new spects ;)

However, anything related to work will still be kept as discreet as possible, for fear of similar things happening.

ANW.

Finally finished looking through my book review. Gonna be presenting it like next week?? I kinda just realise how near it is :S. Brrr.

Praying for wisdom, especially when I have to present this to the CEO of my company. I better not get stage fright.

Daddy, help me!! :S

I don't know what I'm feeling now.

Feeling rather upset over a pack of items left by my doorstep.
Feeling rather empty on a cold night.
Feeling rather regretful and doubtful if I did the right thing.
Feeling rather angry and disappointed at the reaction.
Feeling unsure about everything.

I long for a definite answer. God, where art thou?

The reality of life.

2008-08-24T23:42:00.002+08:00

Its a nice, cool Sunday morning.

Felt reluctant to report for duty. I wish I was day off today so that I can have a goood loong sleep. But nah, reality can be quite cruel sometimes.

So today was pretty alright. Felt a little sorry for my batch girl cuz she was being scolded by my employer today. I think, if I were her, I would have cried too. It can be a real struggle to carry on. I had similar experiences when I just started out. When I was new and naive, thinking that everything can be simple. But the ugly world revealed to me likewise. I've learnt it the hard way, but at least, I learnt.

Thank God that I could be around when she was sad. I mean, if at such times, u can't even find a friend, its really painful..

That's besides the point.

Today, while having my break, a colleague of mine (HC) revealed to me something that, in my opinion, was pretty shocking. She told me something that another colleague of mine did (NH) and I was really horrified. I couldn't believe that she actually IS such a person. Of cuz, I told her that I'll observe myself, and was thankful that I had someone like her to warn me of such people.

The only thing that I'm quite disgusted about (sorry for being so harsh), is that NH really don't present herself like what HC said.

2nd encounter with people like that -- Nice on the outside, but before you know it, turn her back against u in front of your employer.

Such, is the reality of life.

I feel so sad. This world is so fallen. I mean, imagine as part of God's creation, I'm already feeling sad about my own counterparts (human), what about God?

Oh wells.

Then work ended. I was reflecting about my day and I felt that I don't really belong. I was reminded of what I told B ytd when I was consoling him cuz he was also feeling the same way with his colleagues.

I told him, that there're just some people whom u can click with at the very first moment. But likewise, there's always the opposite group of people, whom u can talk and talk but find that its plain shallow, and these people will forever be that group call "acquaintance".

I felt the same. I'm glad that I still have a couple of colleagues in my workplace whom I can call "friends". However today, I'm working with that bunch of people whom, I think, I will list them as "acquaintance" for now.. (Except my batch girl la.)

I feel like I'm going through mid-life crisis prematurely. Aye.

I've just finished watching my favourite drama series on Youtube :). If only drama can come true, isn't it? I'd love to be married and be so in love all the time, just like in the show...

GO SLEEP LA!

Love-hate relationship

2008-08-22T23:06:00.001+08:00

Its been a looooong day..

Woke up early in the morning to attend PM. Like finally I woke up for PM! :S. Gosh. But it was good :). Felt more refreshed. Bought breakfast home.

Met sister to make spects at the Heeren. CHEAP! $39 :). Astigmatism has increased, myopia decreased. I'm not sure is it good or bad. Hmm.

The story comes here.

So I returned to my workplace to meet AMY for fitness challenge. Returned to my workroom to keep my bag in my locker, and saw my employer. Basically the night before I left some documents on Employer 1's table for her to check. Then today Employer 1 not on. Employer 2 is.
As I was walking down to meet AMY, I just told Employer 2 that I left the documents on Employer 1's desk. She was angry and said why didn't I pass to her. That since I left on E1's desk, E1 will check on her own. But a while back when I pass to E1 the documents (albeit incomplete then), she said that E2, being more observant, will be able to do a better job at checking.

So I just made a remark, saying that I thought E1 will eventually pass the documents to E2 to check. She just went, "No. You hand in to E1. E1 will check. If the documents are rejected, don't come and find me."

As E1 is in managerial position, she's obviously of higher rank than E2 la. So E2 went to tell her what I did and what I said. And I got a scolding from E1 over sms. She did not scold me for leaving the documents there, but scolded me for the fact that I said to E2 that E1 will let E2 check.

For one moment, I thought, what's YOUR politics gonna do with me now?

To think that just before I stepped into the ward, I was still full of praises about E1, as we were kinda comparing E1 and E2, and we were saying E1 has become a better person ever since E2 rose up to the current position. And conversely, E2 became more cunning.

THEN after returning to the ward, I got this nonsense from E1.

Talk about love-hate relationships?

Sighs.

Helpless.

2008-08-21T00:05:00.001+08:00

You know, I feel so helpless to blog.

Ever since the previous blog saga that happened to me, I'm too scared to blog anything and everything. This blog, is just another blog to pen in very random thoughts. I have no identity or whatsoever at all. The only thing people know about me on this blog now is that I'm a CinCinnati in Singapore, and that she's a 20 yr old Singaporean girl -_-.

What kinda things can u derive from that? This blog seem to be blogged by someone with no personality, no characters, no attributes, no nothing. How do I blog now? What words can I use to portray my feelings, my thoughts without getting myself into trouble?

Totally helpless.

My original intention of blogging is to allow my friends to know about me more as a person. My blog will be a place for me to pen in my deepest and most truthful thoughts and views I have about life and the things I go through. Now with a masked identity, I have zero choice but to blog as yet another identity, something that's not very me.

When can I blog without having to worry? Sighs.

Check this out, what can u derive from this blog entry?

CinCinnati is a _________ girl..?
- Scaredy cat
- Kiasi
- Frustrated
- No stand or say of her own
- .....?

Sighs. Nothing me.

A brand new beginning

2008-08-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

19 August 2008 marks the birth of my brand new blog, CinCinnati in Singapore.

After blogging for close to 5 years, I finally see how scary blogging can be, and how big a threat it can be if its not being done discreet enough.

Precisely I've been blogging for 5 years, I have a considerable number of people reading my previous blog, invited or not invited alike. So fair enough, I learnt my lesson.

So if you know who I am, good for you. If you don't, sorry, I'm not intending to reveal any photos, names or etc on this blog anymore. Once bitten, twice shy.

May this new blog marks the start of everything good.

God help me.